How to Be Human
by CarolinaBlue
Summary: my first fic! The Cylons, in their quest to find the Final Five, step up their obsessive study of the human race. Starting with Lee Adama. set in S4, some spoilers, some AU Rated M just to be safe!
1. Chapter 1

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show (of course). So some things from early season 4 will be in here, others won't!

Um, it's a dark story. Bad things go down here, people. Probably not the worst stuff you can read on this site, but it's dark. You've been warned!

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is property of the show "Battlestar Galactica," all rights reserved, etc. etc. There is an original character in this- Adelaide Reynolds- but she's not really important to the story, she's not a Mary Sue or whatever, and I didn't base her off myself, so don't worry! Just enjoy (please)!

--

CHAPTER ONE

Lee was just buttoning up a shirt over his flight tanks- still can't take them off, can you Major?- when Addy burst into the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

"What is it?" Lee's tie was forgotten. His friend- now, his assistant- was out of breath and pale.

"Cylons," she gasped out. "On the ship, flight deck-"

Lee immediately moved to his locker. "Is the President on board?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Medical appointment on _Galactica_," Addy replied, watching with wide eyes as Lee pushed on the back of the locker, popping out a compartment of weapons. 'There are some perks to being a military advisor,' he thought as he grabbed a few guns, stashing them on various parts of his body.

"What about the rest of the ship?" his voice was direct and strong. Addy was suddenly struck with a memory of the young commander of the _Pegasus_. She almost smiled despite the situation. Apollo was back.

"I'm not sure. The causeway to the Command Room is sealed and they weren't answering my call from the deck. Transmissions may have been-"

"Jammed," Lee finished. "Probably. Means no distress call, no help from the fleet." He checked the ammo on the last two guns, handing one to Addy. "Centurions, or...?"

She shook her head stiffly. "I saw Leoben. And the crazy blonde one. And several copies of them."

"Frak," he muttered, reaching back into the locker.

"What do we do?" she asked him.

Lee pulled out a comm unit of some sort. He turned it on, moving to the door as he did so. He waved the unit in her direction. "Direct line to _Galactica_. I had it set up with CIC before I left. It's on its own wave, so hopefully," he checked the hallway for any sign of the Cylons, "it won't be jammed like the rest." There was no one else in their section of the hall. Most people on _Colonial One_ were away for the weekend, R&R or on business. Which begged the question: was it a lucky coincidence that the Cylons had picked this particular weekend to attack? Or were they after something in particular? Someone? Lee shook his head, thanking the gods that Roslin was away, before opening the link to _Galactica_.

"_Galactica_, _Colonial One_. Do you copy?" the military speak flowed easily from his lips. 'Just like old times.'

"_Galactica_, go ahead _Colonial One_," Dee's voice sounded over the link.

Lee breathed a sigh of relief that the transmission went through. "_Galactica_, we have a report of Cylons boarding our ship, as many as-" he glanced at Addy who flashed seven fingers, "-seven, possibly more. Requesting immediate aid."

There was a pause. Then, "Lee?" his ex-wife's voice cracked for a brief moment.

"Dee. I could use some back-up," he said, hesitant and less formal. Addy gave him a sympathetic look. It was the first time he had spoken to Dee since leaving _Galactica_.

"Stand by Apollo," her voice fell back to business. After a few tense moments of silence in which Addy came to stand next to him, also scanning the corridor, his father's voice sounded over the link.

"This is Actual. Lee? What's going on?" If the Admiral was at all tense, his voice didn't show it, something Lee was counting on and thankful for.

"Sir. Approximately ten minutes ago at least seven Cylons boarded _Colonial One_." Back at _Galactica's_ CIC, the entire room went quiet. Tigh looked over to Adama, waiting for an order.

Adama's only reaction was to look down, grimacing. "Their objective?" he asked.

"Unknown at this time," was the quick reply from his son.

Adama nodded to Tigh. "Send a squadron over to _Colonial One_. Helo, Athena, anyone else who's available. And add a security detail to the President, she should still be at Life Station." Tigh nodded and moved away to carry out the orders, muttering "How the hell did they get past DRADIS?" as he went. The Admiral turned his attention back to the comm link.

"What's your status, Apollo?" Like Dee, he too fell back into the familiar military role with his son.

"Taking refuge in my quarters with Corporal Reynolds. We've heard nothing from other passengers or the Command Room. Transmissions are jammed, causeways sealed. Not sure of enemy's present location."

Adama paused, taking a deep breath. Gaeta, Dee, and the others looked on. "Find a way to the Command Room if possible. Any sign of the enemy and you go to ground, wait for back up. Do not engage the enemy by yourself, do you understand? You're not in the military anymore, son." As much as that pained him.

"But that would mean I wouldn't have to follow your orders," Lee dryly commented. Adama almost smiled. Almost.

"Those are the orders, Apollo. Do you understand?"

"Copy that, Actual. We-" Lee's voice was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot.

"Lee?!" Frak military speak.

"We've been spotted!" Lee shouted over the link. Multiple gunshots could now be heard. "Addy, fall back, get more ammo from my locker."

"Yes sir!" Adama heard the reply. His heart clenched even more to think of that young girl caught in a fire fight. She was in the military, but as a medic, not a soldier. This was all wrong.

"Apollo!" he called again. "Sitrep!"

He could hear yelling in the background, including voices that sounded far too much like... Leoben. Frak. Lee's voice cut through his growing terror.

"We're pinned down in my quarters," he paused to return fire. "Multiple Cylons, probably five or six." Another pause to shoot. "Make that four or five."

"A squad is on its way, can you hold till then?" Adama asked anxiously.

"I'll have to, won't I?" For some reason, that reassured Adama. Lee always did what he had to. He could do this.

Of course, Adama had to tempt the gods with that thought. Just as he spoke, Lee felt a burning, sudden pain across his arm. "Ah, frak!" he cursed. He checked the wound, trying to get a good look at it through the blood. He returned fire a little clumsily, discarding two empty guns. He was down to his last one.

"Lee?" Addy and his father spoke at the same time.

Lee shook his head, trying to clear it. "I'm hit, upper arm, not too bad. But-" the comm piece exploded in his hand, taken out by a particularly good shot from the Cylons. "Gods damn it!" his yell mixed with the triumphant cry of a Leoben. Thinking fast, he pulled out a short range grenade, popped out the pin with his teeth and lobbed it at the Cylons. It exploded just as Lee slammed his door shut, locking himself and Addy inside. Holding his injured arm close to his body, he moved back to where Addy was standing by his locker.

"We've got a couple rounds left," she reported, eyeing his arm. Before he could speak she was already examining it, tearing off his sleeve to make a bandage. "Doesn't look like it hit an artery, should be fine. How's the pain?" she asked unnecessarily. She knew he would say it was fine.

"I'm not feeling much," he said casually. Truth be told, he could barely feel his left arm at all, much less the actual wound. But with more pressing matters at hand, he wasn't about to mention this to Addy. Instead, "Okay, here's the plan. The grenade will probably hold them off for a little while, maybe long enough for _Galactica's_ squad to get here, maybe not." He handed Addy a full clip. "These vents lead all over the ship. Get as close to the Command Room as you can. If the Cylons are already there," he took a breath to think, "try the flight deck; see if you can find a safe place to wait for the rescue team."

"Sir, I-" Addy was on the verge of protesting.

"If that's not possible, you stay in these vents and hide for as long as possible, you hear me?" He put an arm around her shoulders, simultaneously comforting and guiding her to the far wall. "You do not come out unless you get the all clear from me or _Galactica_. No one and nothing else. No matter what."

"Lee..." Addy's eyes were bright.

"I'll make it an order if I have to." His voice softened. "You're not trained for this, Adds. I am. I have enough ammo to hold them off for a little while. Back-up will be here by then."

She nodded solemnly before turning and pulling the vent casing off the wall. Lee was silently thankful he didn't need to help her with that, as his arm and now left shoulder were completely numb. It was starting to scare him, but he couldn't allow himself to dwell on it now. Addy climbed into the vent, taking a second to look back at him. "Don't forget to change that bandage if it soaks through," she whispered.

He grinned at her. "Aye-aye sir. Be careful." She nodded again, then placed the casing back up behind her and disappeared. Lee walked back to his locker, stumbling suddenly. The numb feeling was spreading rapidly. The air around him felt heavy and far too warm. He turned to the door, which suddenly seemed miles away. 'The bullet!' he told himself. Sinking to his knees, he pulled his arm across his body, using far more energy than he should have had to. He examined the wound again, trying to figure out what was going on. "Poison," he managed to say out loud.

"Good guess," a voice said at the door. Lee looked up in shock to see Leoben and Six standing in front of him, with two more Leobens behind them. He had no idea how or when they had gotten into his room, and that frightened him. He sluggishly swung his arm out to shoot at them, but was too easily disarmed. Leoben was now standing just in front of him. He crouched down and regarded Lee silently for a few moments while Lee stared back, breathing harshly and trying to will his body to move, do something, anything.

"Don't worry," the Cylon said suddenly. "It's not fatal. Just meant to keep you from feeling anything. You'll appreciate it, trust me."

Lee managed a growl, tried to move forward, but Leoben merely sidestepped him and punched him across the face, sending Lee all the way to ground. His body seemingly frozen, Lee could only stare up hazily at the Cylon standing over him.

"Don't worry," Leoben said again, smiling almost benevolently. "Death is not what we have in mind for you, Lee Adama. At least not today." He nodded to his two copies. "Get him up."

There was nothing Lee could do as the other Leobens grabbed his arms and pulled him up to a mostly standing position. His body just wouldn't cooperate with him. What disturbed him the most though was that the poison- whatever it was- wasn't knocking him out. And neither were the Cylons.

Leoben chuckled, as though he could hear Lee's thoughts. "That's right Apollo. We want you awake for this." Six smiled hungrily as the Leobens dragged Lee over to the table in the middle of his room. Sweeping aside the papers covering it, they none-too-gently laid him out on it.

Lee managed to gain a little control back, enough to struggle a little as they tied him down, legs together and arms stretched out to either side. "F-frak you," he forced out.

The Cylons looked a little surprised. "He speaks," the second Leoben smirked. "Pity if the drug is wearing off. That bullet was supposed to hit closer to your heart. Pretty soon you're going to wish you couldn't feel anything."

Lee glared at all of them. "What do y-you... want?"

"We need to send a message to some people in your fleet, Apollo. The people in charge-" the president and his father, obviously "-and some friends of ours. Friends we haven't met yet." What the hell did that mean?

"What do you need me for?" Lee ground out through his teeth. His voice was sounding a little stronger, though he still couldn't move most of his body.

The first Leoben continued with the creepy smile. "Why, you're the message."

"Enough," Six interjected. "Let's get this started before _Galactica_ gets here."

"Oh, don't panic," Leoben held up a hand. "We've got the flight deck rigged so no one can get in. It'll take them awhile to cut through the shell."

"Why didn't I know about this?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes. "You want to go change it back? It was the smart thing to do."

"I don't disagree. But what I want is to be kept informed of these plans. You don't run this outfit."

"And you do?" the second Leoben argued. Six advanced on him.

The first Leoben stepped between them. "You know, it's impolite to argue in front of company," he nodded to Lee, who had been watching the exchange silently.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," he said softly, still working on speaking clearly around the drugs in his system. "If you want I can leave so you can-" he was cut off by the third Leoben- who had been silent up until now- smacking him across the face.

Lee could do nothing as his head whipped to the side. After a few seconds he turned his head back, touching the cut at his mouth with his tongue, tasting blood. Then he smirked up at his captors. The silent Leoben hit him again. And again. And again, for a few minutes straight. When it finally stopped, Lee had lost track of which Leoben was which. He hurt all over, as the drug was wearing off. He groaned quietly, pulling against the restraints that kept his arms stretched out and his body vulnerable. His eyes were closed, so he had no warning as to what was coming next.

Suddenly, someone was on top of him. Lee's eyes flew open to see the Six over him, straddling his body. He strained against the cords binding him to the table, but it was no use. Six just smiled, let him struggle beneath her, and then produced a very sharp, wicked looking knife. Lee forced himself not to move as she placed the flat side of the blade against his face, running it down his cheek and neck to his chest, leaving little cuts along the way. He felt like throwing up when Six leaned down to lick away some of the blood on his neck. He tried to jerk free.

"Get the frak off me," he growled at her.

She pulled back to regard him. "Aw, Lee, I thought you liked it rough. What's the matter, you don't want to play?" She caressed the side of his face briefly, and then slowly started unbuttoning his shirt. Lee's breathing became a little rushed, his movements more frantic, which only got Six more excited. "Blonde is your type, isn't it?" His shirt was pulled open and then ripped away from his body.

Six leaned down over him again, sliding her hands under his flight tanks and up his stomach and chest. Lee clenched his jaw as she pressed uncaring on the bruises littering his body. She pulled his tanks up a little, just enough to get a peek at his abdomen, the well-toned muscles there, which she traced lightly with one finger, lingering at his waist. Lee was powerless to stop her. Then her face was at his neck again, her voice in his ear. "How could you frak an abomination like Kara Thrace and not want to frak me?"

Lee stared straight ahead as he answered. "Because she's a woman. And you're nothing but a frakked-up, godless toaster." She pulled back at that, staring at him furiously. He matched her gaze. "You think your god loves you? Your god doesn't exist. You weren't created by a god; you were created by us, by humans. And we don't love you either." The silent Leoben stepped darkly forward but the first Leoben held him back with a shake of his head, his eyes not on Lee but on Six.

The female Cylon, still straddling Lee, suddenly looked concerned, disappointed even. She picked up the remains of his shirt, twisting it in her hands. "Oh Lee," she sighed sadly. Lee continued to glare at her. She shoved the shirt into his mouth, lifting his head to tie it tightly around him. He grunted, trying to yell something at her, but it was no use. "Poor, naive little boy," she continued. "Things really are so black and white in your eyes, aren't they?" She placed a seemingly caring hand on his shoulder, as he breathed harshly through the gag. Her hand moved down his arm to rest lightly over the bullet wound. Lee's eyes widened in realization just as Six smiled demurely and pressed down on the wound. Her voice was in his ear again, "The only sound I want to hear from you now is your scream," she whispered. She leaned more and more weight onto his arm, until Lee could do nothing but scream into his gag. Six just continued to smile down at him.

"You don't get it, Apollo," the first Leoben commented from the sidelines. "We have a destiny, a fate beyond ourselves. Something you can't possibly understand."

Six finally let up on him, sitting up to play with the knife idly. Lee gasped, desperately trying to get some oxygen in through the gag. He watched them for a second before closing his eyes, willing himself to calm down. His breathing finally slowed, but before long Six was lightly slicing down his arms and chest, leaving cuts all over. He felt the cuts open, felt them bleed, but could do nothing but clench and unclench his fists, frustrated and already feeling the effects of blood loss.

"You see," Leoben continued. "God has a plan for all of us. Even some of you humans. Probably not you, though."

Six slashed him deeper across his chest, causing Lee to give another muffled yell. 'Where the hell is _Galactica_?' The gash bled freely; Lee could feel blood start dripping down his sides. He tried to twist and buck Six off of him, but it was no use. She would not yield, just smiled with pleasure at his protests, enjoying the feeling of a body moving beneath hers. "That's it, keep it coming," she said, almost purring. "You're a fun ride." She set the knife aside for just a moment, then turned back to him. He was helpless to stop her as she ran a hand up the side of his leg, smile widening as Lee tried not to panic. She pulled teasingly at the waistband of his pants until they sat lower on his hips. He shuddered as one of her hands settled over his hip bone, caressing it, while the other was planted firmly on the table near his head. Lee's panic heightened tenfold as the Six lowered herself down completely on top of him, her weight pressing on his wounds. The hand at his hip began groping at his body, at one point pulling his tanks down and so she could kiss his now heaving chest, working her way up to his neck. 'Please gods, no,' he thought desperately as a heavy weight seemed to settle in his heart. He couldn't escape this.

"It's funny, isn't it," Leoben acted as though nothing was happening in front of him. Lee tried not to listen, tried not think about where the Six's mouth and hands were at that moment. "All the humans you surround yourself with, they all have some purpose in this life. Some destiny, a role to play. Except you. Why is that, Apollo? What's your purpose? For what possible reason could you have been chosen to survive for this long? What's the point?"

Lee stared straight up, refusing to show the chill that now spread through him as Leoben threw some of his real fears back at him. His breathing was harsh again; he was having a hard time focusing. For awhile- time being no concept familiar to him anymore- it was a tag-team of torture for Lee. Whenever Six stopped playing with his body, Leoben would pick at Lee mentally, pointing at his faults and insecurities, guilts and fears. And when he paused to take a breath, Six would be back on him with her hands and that damn knife…

Lee no longer cared about anything; he didn't have the energy to. He couldn't tell where he was hurting; it felt like the blood was coating his entire body. This time there was barely a reaction from him when Six sliced downwards, cutting through his skin and through his tanks, finally pulling the cloths free and dropping them on the floor behind her. She smiled happily at the sight of his beautiful, maimed body at her mercy. Not able to resist, she let her hands wander along his chest and stomach again, getting a feel for his muscles and skin.

He shook his head weakly, murmuring some feeble protest, eyes sliding shut. He was childlike in this dazed state, vulnerable and helpless beneath her. Six relished this power, this intimate hold over a human. Suddenly, in this instant with Lee completely at her beck and call, she loved him. Reaching underneath him, hands pressed against his bare back, she lifted his body up as far as she could. The fact that he made no move to stop her filled her with intense pleasure. She wasn't sure if they had beaten the will out of him or just taken out his physical strength; she also found she didn't care. She could do anything to him right now, anything she wanted, and he wouldn't be able to stop her. It was an amazing feeling.

Ever so gently, she smoothed his hair away from his bloody, sweaty face. He mumbled something, but whatever he said was lost into the gag. Deciding she wanted to hear his voice now, she pulled it out of his mouth, leaving it to hang down near his neck. He coughed weakly, and Six watched in fascination as he reflexively licked his dry and cracked lips. She ran her thumb along the bruises at his mouth, and, eyes still closed, Lee turned his head to the side.

"No," his voice was soft and slight, and thrilling to Six's ears.

"Sorry pet," she paused as he went through another fit of coughing. "But you're ours now. Anything I want to do to you, I will."

"You're helpless, Apollo. Admit it," Leoben added, smiling. "You know there's no hope of escaping. Helpless. Say it."

"No," he repeated, just as weakly. But he still didn't move from her hold, and Six knew he couldn't fight her off. She had a hand on his thigh, her thumb rubbing along the inside of his upper leg, and she could feel him shaking beneath her touch. And when she slowly moved that hand upwards and he whimpered softly, she felt like echoing the noise with one of her one.

He still didn't try to move away from her, but his harsh breathing, shaking, and mumbled, delirious words revealed his panic. She shushed him, her words gentle and comforting, "Shhh shhh, relax. Everything's okay, pet. I'll take care of you." And to her delight, his body actually stilled against hers, quieting for her. Obeying her. Good God, this was incredible. Overcome, she kissed his forehead, much more tenderly than she had kissed him before. She may have been imagining it, maybe just wishful thinking on her part, but she could swear that he leaned into the kiss ever so slightly. He certainly didn't move away. She kissed him again, right at the bruise on the side of his mouth. This time, he didn't even turn his head away. Six had never been this excited before; she was so close to getting what she wanted.

"Getting a little attached, aren't you?" Leoben commented from the sidelines, eyebrow arched. His copies remained silent, though their expressions mirrored his.

Six turned to them for a brief second, unapologetic. "So what if I am?" Still holding Lee's body slightly off the table, she let it fall back again, testing his awareness. Nothing. She truly wished she had the time to take him- and his body- fully, but it would have to wait for another time. That possibility excited her all the more.

"You are truly a beautiful specimen, Lee Adama," she told him. As one last treat for herself, she slid both hands up his bloody chest to his face, cupping his cheeks. His eyes opened only for a brief moment, but he had finally had enough, and he went completely slack beneath her. "Red's a good color on you," she whispered, kissing his unresponsive lips.

"He's out," one of the Leobens said behind her. "We'll need to go soon."

"One last thing to do," she replied, as a Leoben helped her off the prisoner and the table. Her clothes, hands, and face were spattered with blood, but she didn't care. This had felt so good. "One final message to leave, eh boys?" The three Leobens smiled simultaneously.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	2. Chapter 2

It had taken far too long to cut through the ship's hull

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't!

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is property of the show "Battlestar Galactica," all rights reserved, etc. etc. There is an original character in this- Adelaide Reynolds- but she's not really important to the story, she's not a Mary Sue or whatever, and I didn't base her off myself, so don't worry! Just enjoy (please)!

Thanks for the reviews!

--

CHAPTER TWO

It had taken far too long to cut through the ship's hull. _Colonial One_ had just been fortified to protect against hull breach, and while it was a good idea and Helo had fully supported it at the time, right now he wanted to find that genius engineer and shove him out an airlock.

"Chief?" he asked again, gripping his assault rifle, wishing he had room to pace.

Chief grunted, eyes on his work. "Another minute and we'll be through."

Helo nodded in response, seemingly calm, before turning and slamming his hand against the Raptor wall.

"Hey, calm down!" Sharon grabbed his shoulder, gave it a gentle shake. "Focus," she reminded him.

He took a deep breath and stared down at her. "It's been close to an hour. Who knows what's happening to-" he shook his head "-to the people on this ship."

"Apollo will be fine. And he'll look after Adelaide," she tried to sound confident. The look Helo shot her told her she hadn't been very successful.

Anders stretched his shoulders and neck, working out the kinks. "What do you think they want? Why do this now?"

"Don't know, don't care," Helo answered. "I will kill every one of them if I have to."

Chief and Anders locked eyes for a fraction of a second before Chief looked back up and gave a triumphant yell. "We're in!"

Helo turned his comm link back on. "_Galactica_, _Raptor One_. We're through to _Colonial One_."

"Copy that _Raptor One_," Dee's shaky but relieved voice filtered through the Raptor.

Helo led Sharon, Chief, Anders, and two Marines into _Colonial One's_ corridor. A few moments later, _Raptor Two's_ group joined them. "Okay, Group Alpha with me to the Command Room, Group Bravo to the flight deck. Find their ship and destroy it. No matter what, I don't want an enemy Cylon flying out of here of their own free will, you got it?"

"Yes sir," Hot Dog, Narcho, and four more Marines headed out for the flight deck.

Helo nodded to his own group. "Let's go." He prayed to every god he could think of that Lee and Addy had managed to get to the Command Room or anywhere safe. They forced their way into the sealed causeway, on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. It was disturbing how quiet and normal the ship seemed. Helo grew more anxious as they went. "Remember, taking one alive is a bonus. Anything shifty happens, you shoot to kill." He sent a look over to Sharon, wondering not for the first time how she felt about hunting other Cylons. Her response was to cock and sight her gun, giving him a firm nod in return. Somehow it made him feel a little better.

They were one corridor turn away from the Command Room hatch when Helo heard movement ahead of them. Silently he signaled the group, himself taking point as Sharon and Anders flanked him, with Chief and the Marines at the rear guard. He wiped a bit of sweat from his face, inching his way to the turn. A quick nod behind him, then Helo swung around the corner, gun raised. And came face to face with a pale and shaking medic, her own gun up and aimed at Helo.

"Corporal Reynolds?" Helo said softly, calmly. Addy was more looking through him than at him, the gun trembling in her hands. There were a couple ugly bruises on the side of her face, a cut along one cheekbone. She took a few steps back, gun still raised and pointed at him. He lowered his own weapon, holding out his hands and slowly taking a step towards her.

"Addy?" he tried again. "It's okay, Addy. We're here."

She shook her head suddenly, eyes widening in recognition. "Helo?" she dropped her gun, letting it hit the floor with a loud clang. Helo reached out and drew her in for a one-armed hug, eyes closing for a second in relief.

"You okay?" he watched her face for signs of a lie. As an afterthought: "All clear!" His eyes were still on her face. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and nodded as the rest of the team stepped into view.

Chief picked up her discarded weapon, checking the ammo inside. "Two rounds missing," he quietly told Helo, also pulling Addy to him for a quick hug.

"I killed one of them," she numbly told the team, nodding her head behind her. "She's back there. Got the drop on me, but she didn't see I had a gun."

"She?" Sharon asked cautiously, praying that…

"A Six," Addy assured her. "The Command Room was sealed shut, but I got in through the vents. The pilots and everyone in there are fine."

Helo wanted to ask about Lee, but knew he had to get a military report first. "What's the sitrep, Corporal?"

Addy looked up at him, somewhere between dazed and exhausted. "The ship the Cylons used to get here departed about ten minutes ago. Right before you boarded _Colonial One_. Not sure if they left anyone behind besides their dead, sir."

Helo nodded, turned his comm link on again. "Bravo leader, this is Alpha. You at the flight deck?"

"Yes sir," came the immediate response. "No sight of enemy ship, all other ships present and accounted for. There are a few casualties on the deck sir. No Cylons in sight."

Helo sighed at the thought of casualties. "Okay, start at your location, do a sweep for anyone the Cylons might have left behind. Tend to any wounded you find. Make your way to Command Room."

"Roger that, sir. Bravo out."

Helo turned off the link, nodded to his two Marines. "Go to the Command Room, get a full sitrep from the bridge." The Marines saluted and left. Helo then turned back to Addy who was staring at him with a painfully hopeful expression on her face. "Where's Lee?" she asked. The rest of the team looked up at her words. Helo's blood ran cold at the realization that Lee wasn't in the Command Room.

"Where did you last see him?" he asked, his voice much calmer than he actually felt.

Addy's breath hitched painfully. "He sent me into the vents while he held the Cylons off in his quarters," she began to panic. "That was an hour ago, where is he?"

"Frak," Anders muttered off to the side, his face pinched with worry.

Helo thought for a second, before nodding to himself, decision made. "You said the Command Room was fine, that's not our objective anymore. We go to Major Adama's quarters." He handed one of his spare guns to Addy, pulled her to stand directly behind him, and quickly led the team back the way they had come. Into his link: "Bravo team, be aware. Apollo is unaccounted for at present time. If you find him you tell me, ASAP." He didn't wait for a reply. 'Hang on Lee,' he found himself calling silently. 'We're coming for you.'

As they neared Lee's room, the uneasy feeling in the pit of Helo's stomach grew stronger. At the final turn there was another dead Cylon, a Leoben, shot through the center of his forehead. Lee's work in the firefight, Helo had no doubt. A look to Addy and her answering nod confirmed it. Rounding the corner the team saw the effects of what could only be a short-range grenade, as well as another Cylon body- a Six- that must have been killed in the explosion.

The door to Lee's room was open. Helo halted the group just outside. There was no sound coming from within, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Sharon came up next to him and with a nod to each other, they moved quickly into the doorway, guns drawn.

The sight of Lee in front of them froze them both. He was lying on a table in the middle of the room, arms and legs tied down. He was shirtless, and every inch of bare skin was covered in bruises and blood. From where he stood, Helo could see slashes and cuts of varying degrees of severity, most of them still bleeding. Trails of blood ran down the sides of Lee's body to pool onto the table and drip off to the floor. Lee's bruised face, one eye nearly swollen shut, was turned towards them. His eyes were closed, and he wasn't moving.

Sharon's gun seemed to lower of its own accord. Helo gave an absolutely terrified "Oh frak!" as he rushed forward. He moved to the table, hesitated for a brief second, and then reached out to check for a pulse. A choking sound by the door interrupted him. Chief and Anders were standing, eyes wide and shocked, in the doorway. The sound was coming from Addy who, hands at her mouth, looked on the verge of passing out. "Sharon, get Addy out of here," he ordered. Sharon was still staring in horror at Lee. She didn't acknowledge him. "Sharon!" he yelled. She snapped out of it, half-hugging half-pulling Addy out the door, shutting it behind them.

Helo turned to the two men who were still standing shocked by the door. "Chief, help me untie him. Anders, sweep the room," he said somewhat dully. Glad to have something to do, both moved quickly to comply. Helo finally turned back to Lee, going to check for a pulse again, dreading the answer. As Chief worked to undo the cords at his feet, Helo felt at Lee's neck, his fingers slipping in patches of blood. After a brief, terrifying moment, Helo let out a shuddering breath. "He's got a pulse," he said quietly. Chief nodded, his own eyes closing momentarily in relief, before working on the ties around Lee's wrists.

Helo gently gripped the wounded man's chin. "Lee… Lee?" he lightly tapped on his cheek, mindful of the dark bruises and cuts there. No response, though Helo hadn't really expected one. He untied the shirt that was hanging uselessly at his neck, obviously having been used to gag his friend, and unraveled it to try and staunch the blood flow on the worst of the gashes across Lee's chest.

Chief approached from the other side of Lee's body, picking up the cut up flight tanks from the floor, joining Helo in trying to stop the bleeding that was coating the former Major Adama. "Frak, Apollo, what did they do to you?" he muttered, eyes concerned and somber. He turned back to the Captain. "We're going to have to get him to _Galactica_. Soon. He's losing way too much blood and we don't know what else they might have…" he glanced down at Apollo again, swallowing convulsively. "…have done to him."

Helo nodded absentmindedly, staring at bloody fingerprints that had been left on the sides of Lee's face. "Sam," he called out to distract himself. "Is the room clear?"

There was a moment's pause before Anders answered. "No enemy Cylons," his voice was cracked and tense. "But you need to see this."

Helo and Chief both looked up to Anders, who was looking at the door that Sharon had just closed. Scrawled on the back of the door were the words '_soon you will know_.' The words were dripping red.

"Gods, that's his blood, isn't it?" Sam asked the other two. Chief only shook his head, reading the words over and over again. 'Soon you will know?' What does that mean? Who is this for? Is it for us? For the fleet? Will they know we're not who we say we are?

Oblivious to Chief's internal terror, Helo pointedly ignored both Sam's question and the obvious answer. He turned back to Lee. "Come on, Apollo. Hang in there a little longer. We'll get you home soon enough," he said quietly, reassuringly, to the man who had become his friend over the last few years. For some reason he thought of Kara, who right now was still probably sitting in the brig, unaware that her best friend was slowly dying on _Colonial One_. Helo shook his head, ridding himself of that thought. He nodded to the other two men. "Help me out here, we need to triage this as much as we can. Get him stable enough for transport, Cottle can do the rest once we get Apollo on _Galactica_."

"Helo, maybe Reynolds should get in here and-"

Helo cut Anders off. "No."

Anders shook his head. "We're not medics, maybe she-"

"Sam," Chief interrupted. "She shouldn't see this. Not now, not here."

A look of understanding passed Sam's face. He nodded, hurrying over to assist Chief and Helo. The Captain nodded to the both of them. "Let's do as much as we can, then let Addy look at him once we're in the Raptor."

It seemed like every time Laura received treatment, it wore her out more and more. She was at the point where she needed immediate sleep after an appointment just so she could get through the rest of the day. She was never able to keep track of how long she slept, but today had apparently been long enough for everything in the universe to go to Hell. When she had closed her eyes, only Tory and a medic had been beside her. (Not Addy, because after Cally's funeral Addy had left to join Lee and his campaign of righteousness on _Colonial One_.) When she awoke, Tory and the medic were joined by four armed Marines, stationed just outside her curtain. For a brief moment Laura flashed back to a few years earlier when Adama had sent Marines after her. It was a small comfort now that the men were facing outward and not at her.

"What's going on?" she finally spoke, voice always sounding stronger than she actually felt.

"Madam President," Tory stood next to her bed. Her face remained stoic, but her voice shook and her eyes were slightly wild. "There was an incident aboard _Colonial One_."

"What kind of incident?" Laura's mind raced through the possibilities. Another military coup, or Baltar's cult uprising? Zarek? Did Starbuck get free and go crazy(er)?

"Cylons, ma'am," Tory tried to report as calmly as possible. "Some of the human models boarded the ship about an hour ago."

'I've been out for an hour?!' she thought to herself. Outwardly, she remained in control. She nodded, thinking. "What is the latest report? What do they want? How many casualties?"

"Seven casualties, three Cylons and four deck crew. Most passengers and nearly all of the Quorum were off the ship at the time…" Tory hesitated, and in that moment Laura knew. Lee. Something had happened to Lee.

"Mr. Adama?" she asked, wincing at the stammer in her voice.

Tory didn't meet her eyes. "He's unaccounted for, according to Captain Agathon's last transmission. The Cylons are gone, too. Their ship left _Colonial One_ just as _Galactica's_ squad got in."

"Lords have mercy," Laura murmured. She glanced around at the Marines. "And so someone decided I need extra security?"

"Yes, I did," Adama's voice sounded quietly from the curtain. He and Laura held each other's gazes for a moment, enough time for Tory and the Marines to move a discreet distance away. Bill went to his normal chair next to her and sat down heavily. Laura turned onto her side to regard him. He looked weighed down and worn out. Like she felt. When he spoke, it was a tired, tightly controlled voice. "We don't yet know what their objective was. If it was to attack the President of the Colonies, they may try it here."

"They weren't after me," Laura whispered. When Bill raised an eyebrow at her, she smiled gently. "They know I'm already dying."

Bill just looked at her for another moment, expressionless, before sitting back in his chair, eyes cast down at his hands. Laura reached out, put her own hand on his shoulder, hoping to calm the both of them. "Is Lee…?"

Bill didn't move, just swallowed before answering. "We received word from Athena not too long ago. Corporal Reynolds is okay, as are the pilots and crew." Laura stayed quiet, asking him to continue with her eyes. "They found Lee in his quarters." She sucked in her breath, waiting. "All she would say was that it was critical; we should have medical on standby." His voice was so quiet.

Laura felt her eyes water. "That's all?" she asked.

Before Bill could answer, Gaeta's voice called throughout the ship. "Admiral to flight deck. Admiral Adama to flight deck." Laura flinched at the noise and the implication. Adama stood up quickly, jerkily.

She tried to keep her hand on him. "Bill?" she said desperately.

He squeezed her hand with his own, placing it back on the bed. "I'll be back to check on you soon," he said gravelly. As he opened the curtain, allowing Tory to slip back in, Laura could see Cottle and his trauma team standing at the ready, acknowledging Adama as he hurried past them. Cottle caught Laura's eye and nodded to her before turning back to prep his team.

"Madam President," Tory began as she reached out to pull the curtain shut.

"Tory," Laura's voice was cool and calm. "Leave the curtain open."

Adama was nearing a full-out run by the time he reached the flight deck. _Raptor One_ was just landing, he could see Anders piloting it. Sharon was the first to exit, leading a shaken Addy with an arm around her shoulders. Both looked up at Adama as he approached and tried to salute, but he waved them off. "Get her to Life Station," he ordered Sharon, noticing the blood spatters and bruises on the young medic.

As he turned back to the Raptor, Addy's quiet voice stopped him. "It's not my blood." He froze and looked at her again. She was looking at her hands that were shaking and stained. "I… I tried to help. I don't know if…" she looked up at him then, eyes bright.

Adama softened, placing a gentle hand on top of her head. "Life Station," he told her. Tears finally fell as she nodded and Sharon led her away.

Deciding not to wait for the Raptor to power down, he boarded. Chief and Anders- still in the cockpit- threw him startled salutes, but Helo barely acknowledged the Admiral, focused on the stretcher next to him. Gods, Lee looked like death. Makeshift bandages covered most of his chest, stomach, arms, and upper legs, and most of them were soaked through. He was bruised and battered at every edge, unconscious and unmoving. Bill knelt down next to the stretcher. Afraid to touch Lee in fear of hurting him more- afraid to touch your own son, are you Admiral?- he settled for gripping the edge of the stretcher tightly.

"We managed to stop the worst of the bleeding," Helo spoke up. Helo, who was always in control, fun-loving and carefree, was greatly shaken. His hands and the front of his flight suit were bloody. He opened his mouth to say more, but seemed unable. Instead, he went back to adjusting Lee's numerous bandages, leaving one giant, Helo-sized hand gentle and steadfast on Lee's less damaged shoulder.

Adama looked up as the power down was completed. Chief, his own hands and shirt stained red, moved forward and together he and Helo picked up the stretcher. Adama followed, keeping his hand on Lee's ankle, the only part of him that didn't seem damaged. Anders followed silently.

All sound and movement seemed to stop when they exited the Raptor. The crew and pilots on deck stared in horror at the processional. The last time Lee had been in this spot, they had been bidding him farewell. They had seen him then as Apollo still, the conquering hero. But now… now everyone could see how mortal he actually was.

--

TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. Chapter 3

The second they reached Life Station, Lee's stretcher was pulled from their hands and whisked away, disappearing behind a curt

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't!

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is property of the show "Battlestar Galactica," all rights reserved, etc. etc. There is an original character in this- Adelaide Reynolds- but she's not really important to the story, she's not a Mary Sue or whatever, and I didn't base her off myself, so don't worry! Just enjoy (please)!

Thanks to all reviewers!!

--

CHAPTER THREE

The second they reached Life Station, Lee's stretcher was pulled from their hands and whisked away, disappearing behind a curtain. Helo, Chief, and Adama just stood in the middle of the station, listening in as Cottle ordered his staff about.

Chief looked down at himself absentmindedly, then realized he had Lee's blood on him. Blood spilled by Cylons. Suddenly he couldn't be in this room, he couldn't wear these clothes or see these people. These human beings, knowing he wasn't one of them. He mumbled something to the others, even he wasn't sure what, and hurried away.

Helo couldn't get his brain to work past getting Lee to Life Station. That was his last task and now that it was completed he had no idea what to do. He wanted to pull back that curtain and order Lee to be okay. Never mind that Lee was a civilian now and had outranked him when he had been military. And never mind that it was a silly thing to do to begin with. Helo couldn't get his brain to work.

Softly, from somewhere behind him, he heard his wife call his name. He turned towards her voice and saw her sitting on a bed next to Addy, who was staring off into space as a nurse stitched up the cut on her face. Sharon sat beside her, watching over her protectively, one arm still around her. Helo walked over to them just as the nurse finished the stitches and left. He kissed his wife and then sat down on the other side of Addy, placing one strong arm around the both of them.

"Where's Anders?" Sharon asked quietly, her hand running soothingly through Addy's hair.

Just as quietly, as though he didn't want to disturb anyone, Helo answered. "I think he went to see Kara." Sharon nodded. Helo looked over Addy again; she was oblivious to everyone around her, sitting with her hands in her lap. He reached over and held one of her hands in his, squeezing it gently, and was rewarded with her gripping it tightly.

Adama was looking at them, this totally unconventional and yet totally complete family, without really looking at them. Though his eyes were pointed elsewhere, his mind was on bed number 6, its curtain drawn all the way around to give privacy to the medical team and their wounded patient.

"Bill?" Laura called from her own bed. Her curtain was open, Tory standing next to her worriedly. He moved to the foot of her bed, just looking at her. Her eyes were impossibly wide. "Who was that on the stretcher? Was that Lee?" she sounded so fearful.

Bill didn't answer right away, both confirming and heightening Laura's fears. "He's still alive," he finally said.

Laura gave a little exhale that sounded like a quiet sob. "How… how bad…?"

Again, Bill took his time answering. Tory silently excused herself, deciding to try and follow Chief. Bill took his normal seat once again, still just looking at her. She stared back, eyes getting brighter with each passing moment.

"Bill?" she prompted.

He broke eye contact, looking out towards Lee's bed. "He's still alive," he repeated. "For right now, that's all we can hope for."

Laura made another soft noise, looking out at the other beds full of wounded, sick people. At the Agathons, Sharon and Helo, comforting Adelaide. And at the curtain drawn around bed 6, where she could hear Cottle tensely ordering around his staff. She closed her eyes tightly. "It has to get better," she whispered. "We're trying so hard to live, it has to get better."

--

Kara was doing what she did best when confined to a small space. Push-ups. Up and down, thirty reps. Ten second break, then up and down, thirty reps. The routine of it was comforting, the burn in her muscles a good distraction. She didn't get a lot of contact with the rest of the ship, but big news travels everywhere, even here. She knew there had been a Cylon infiltration on _Colonial One_, she knew that Lee had been the one to raise the alarm, and she knew that Sam, Helo, and others had gone over to back him up. The push ups helped keep her mind from agonizing over every possible outcome (most of them negative). She worked harder, pushed faster, to keep from thinking, so focused on her body that she didn't hear the door to the brig open.

"Kara," came a quiet voice. Sam. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him by the door, leaning against the bars.

She dropped to the ground, took a deep breath, turned to face him. "So how was the big…" she trailed off at the sight of him. Blood stained his hands, the front of his flight suit. His eyes were dark, face as tired as she's ever seen it. "Sam?" she was surprised to hear her voice crack on just one syllable.

"He's in Life Station. It doesn't look good," he intoned, voice quiet, dead. He wasn't able to meet her eyes for more than a few seconds.

Kara didn't need to know who 'he' was. Oh gods. No, no, no…

Somehow, Sam managed to keep talking. "I'm going to talk to the guards, or the XO if I have to. If you want to go see him, I'll… I'll make it happen."

No, no, no. Kara tuned him out. She didn't want to hear anymore. She didn't know if she could even think anymore. Her body seemed to move of its own accord, and she was sitting on the floor, against the wall. Her head was shaking back and forth. No, no, no. Her legs were shaking, maybe her hands were shaking.

'Please, gods, no. Why would you bring me back if you were going to have this happen? Frak.'

--

"Galen!" Tory knocked on the door to his room, hearing the baby crying from inside. She pulled on the hatch, slightly surprised to find it unlocked. She hesitantly stepped in, shutting the door behind her and standing against it. Chief sat on his rack, holding Nicky to him, staring at nothing.

"Galen?" she tried again. He looked up at her, and she was struck by the myriad of emotions on his face. His eyes were red.

"Did you see him?" he asked her, voice scratchy, tight.

She moved to the chair by his bed and sat down. "For a second. Cottle was prepping him for surgery."

He closed his eyes, rubbing his hand against the side of his face and unconsciously pulling his son closer to him. "What they did to him, I don't… I can't…" he shook his head. "Why Apollo? He's never… out of all the people on this fleet, he's a good man, he…" Chief couldn't get any thoughts out coherently.

Tory tried to find the right words to say, to shake Chief out of this fog. "We can't explain everything. Maybe… maybe this is a part of God's plan?"

Chief grabbed a glass off the table next to him, threw it against the wall, feeling some satisfaction that it smashed into tiny pieces. Nicky's cries grew louder and Tory stood up in shock. "Don't give me that, Tory! That 'God's plan' crap! One god?! The Cylons' god, is that it? Did you see what those frakking Cylons did to Apollo?" he screamed at her. She took some steps back fearfully. "I don't want to be that," he said, quieter. "I'm not that. I can't be one of these things."

'I can't be one of these things,' Sam thought to himself, watching as his wife slowly and silently began panicking in her cell, Starbuck cut off from her Apollo.

"I can't be one of these things," Sharon found herself saying. Helo and Addy both looked up at her words. Realizing she had said that out loud, she shook her head. "Sorry."

"What do you mean?" Addy asked. She had snapped out of her daze not long ago, now just anxiously waiting news of Lee's surgery.

Sharon gave a rather forced smile. "How can I be the way I am, thinking I'm like all of you, when my people did... that," her voice cracked at the end.

"Hey," Helo made her look at him. "We're your people. Okay? Don't think like that."

Sharon didn't seem to hear him. She looked up at him, her eyes filling up. "I don't want to be a Cylon," she whispered to him. He hugged her, his heart breaking a little.

"You're not," he whispered to her. "You're Athena. You're Sharon, my wife, Hera's mother. You're a Lieutenant in the Colonial Fleet. None of those people could ever do anything like this."

Addy even smiled. "So say we all," she whispered. Sharon laughed through her tears.

Addy put her hand on Sharon's shoulder, squeezed it, and let go. "You chose to be with us; you are who you chose to be," she promised.

--

Cottle emerged from the surgery after what seemed like hours. Bill was waiting just outside the curtain, having left the President after she fell asleep again. Helo and Sharon were nearby, sitting next Addy who was also finally sleeping. Cottle pulled the curtain shut behind him and joined Adama, pulling out a cigarette. Adama was strangely enough comforted by this typical behavior from the doc.

"Well?" his voice rumbled from worry and lack of sleep.

Cottle sighed, actually sighed, and that feeling of comfort disappeared. "Gods, Admiral, I don't know where to begin."

"Will he be alright?" the father in him pushed forward.

"I think his body will recover in time," was the vague answer.

"And that means?"

"He's been through a lot, Admiral. Probably more than even I can figure out. His body was put through the ringer. Beaten thoroughly, stabbed and slashed several dozen times, shot, drugged-"

"What?"

"At the bullet wound, we found traces of some foreign agent in his blood, like a sedative or numbing agent," he oh-so-casually pulled a drag on his cigarette. "Would explain how they got the drop on him."

"Go on," Adama growled, trying to maintain control.

"It's affecting him still; we can't flush it out quick enough. I've never seen anything like it."

"So he's still… sedated?" Bill tried to get a grasp on it.

"That's the thing. No." Cottle shook his head. "It's moved out of his muscular system and into the neural. We did some scans of his brain; the drug is wreaking havoc in there. Nightmares, hallucinations, that sort of thing. The only thing we can do now is keep him comfortable until the drug wears itself out." He took another breath. "That's pretty much it, physically. He lost a lot of blood, but we had enough in stores to keep him mostly stable. The damage to his chest and ribs from the beating caused some internal bleeding, but we patched up the worst and the rest should heal on its own."

"Anything else?" he was already inching his way towards his son's bed.

Cottle stopped him with a surprisingly gentle hand to his arm. "That's it physically. Mentally…"

Adama felt the chill race through him. "Yes?"

Cottle shrugged, back to his façade. "He was tortured, Admiral. No doubt about that. There's going to be wounds that I can't fix. Judging by the bruises, their shapes and locations on his body," Cottle was struggling for words, and that frightened Adama on top of everything else.

"Doc…" he urged him on.

Cottle glanced around, lowering his voice, repeating his earlier words. "He was tortured, Admiral. Abused. Put through hell."

Adama's mind zeroed in on that one word. 'Abused.' His heart seemed to stop beating. He knew what could happen to prisoners of war. "Are you saying he was…" his mouth and mind were unable to form the words.

"I don't know, judging by the damage inflicted I wouldn't say so, but it was obviously threatened. He was taunted with it, I think. We won't know anything for sure until Apollo's awake."

"And when will that be?" Adama was aware of Helo standing up and joining them, but continued his focus on the doctor.

"You know how these things are, Admiral. He'll wake up when he wakes up. Go sit with him, let him know he's opening his eyes in a better place than where he closed them."

Bill nodded, no words left to say. He moved through the curtain, thanking Helo with a nod as the Captain stationed himself right outside, guarding. Bill had to admit, Lee looked better than he had on the Raptor. They'd washed away as much of the blood as possible, stitched up gashes, and dressed the wounds in clean white bandages. Though to be fair, bandages seemed to cover nearly all of his son's body.

He pulled a chair up near Lee's head and laid a hand gently on the top of his son's hair, feeling a little unsettled. He always thought that when Lee would sleep, even at his current age, he looked like a little boy. His face would smooth out, all the tension in his face and life would melt away, and Adama could be reminded of the inquisitive little eight-year-old that used to follow him around. But not tonight. Even unconscious and sedated, Lee was frowning, wincing, flinching every so often. Bill hated it. This was his boy suffering, and Bill couldn't stop it. This is was a part of fatherhood Bill had never been good at, comfortable with. Well, one of the parts.

"Lee?" he said quietly, tentatively, almost afraid that he would wake up. Lee had no reaction. Bill began lightly brushing his hand through his son's hair- short, but not military short- and placed his other hand over Lee's too-still one. "I'm right here, son. I'm staying right here."

Outside the curtain, Helo clenched his jaw at the Admiral's words. He hadn't heard the full prognosis on Lee, just that it wasn't great. The amount of machines beeping and whirring around his bed told him that. But listening to Adama… he was hearing a scared father in there. And as a father himself, it tore Helo up inside. He felt his resolve tremble just a little, eyes blurring just a little, as Adama continued to speak. "Everything's going to be okay. I'll be here when you wake up."

--

"_Come on Lee, I know you want this. I can tell," Six was leaning over him again, straddling his hips._

"No_," he whimpered, wanting to get away. He couldn't move, could barely breathe._

"Lee?"

_She reached over and pulled the restraints free of his wrists and feet. "You don't want to be here? Fine. All you have to do is walk away, right now. And I'll let you go."_

_He tried, he really tried to get up. But his body wouldn't listen to him. He was frozen, unmoving, beneath her. He screamed at himself to leave, do something, anything, but nothing happened. He didn't move._

"_See? Deep down, you want this to happen." She was unbuttoning his shirt again._

"No_," he whispered again. "_Stop_," he tried._

_She smirked. "Make me." He couldn't._

"Lee, it's okay."

_It wasn't okay. She had pulled his shirt completely off of him, taking the time to gently pull his arms out of the sleeves and everything. Then that familiar, sick feeling. Her hand on his bare chest, trailing down the front of his body, lower and lower…_

"Don't_," he begged weakly. "_Please_," if his body wasn't frozen, he was sure he'd be crying by now. He wanted to cry, he hated this. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the thing on top of him, hands exploring his body against his will. If only he could move, escape. But Lee was a failure, a failure of a human being, as the Leoben model had so easily pointed out. He failed everyone in his life, including himself. Maybe this was his punishment. Maybe he deserved this. At that thought, he stopped trying to fight her off. Yes, he deserved this. And then Lee gave in, praying that it would be quick, be over soon._

"_See, pet? It's inevitable. You're mine. I own every inch of you now. You want this. Say it."_

"Son, please. Open your eyes."

_He couldn't open his eyes. If he did he would see her, see what she was doing. He didn't want that image in his brain, ever. No matter what… wait. 'Son?' Why would she call him…_

"It's just a dream, okay? Come on Lee, come back to us."

_Dad? His father was here? Did they have him too? They must have lured him here, using his son as bait. Now they were making him watch his son's humiliation. Lee could feel his heart pounding harder and harder in his chest, gradually being accompanied by a strange, out-of-place beeping noise. What was that? Suddenly Six melted away, everything melted away, leaving nothing but black. Where was he? He could still hear his dad talking, and the beeping noise. Heart monitor. Life station. He was in the Life Station. _

"Please. Open your eyes."

_His dad never said please. At least, never to him. Lee wanted to open his eyes, he really did, but waking up meant going back to reality. Finding out what had been done to him. Talking about it. He couldn't do that yet. Here, nothing hurt, nothing felt… wrong. He couldn't push himself just yet. He couldn't face them yet._

Bill sighed as Lee stilled in his bed, retreating back into sleep. Cottle had warned him about the nightmares, but it was still damn hard to watch. It was the second time this had happened since the doctor had brought him out of surgery. He would start struggling a little, his eyes would move underneath his eyelids, and then he would speak. Mumbled, terrified words that cut through Bill, left him wondering how much of Cottle's assessment was true. He didn't want any of it to be true, but when he laid a hand on Lee's shoulder and Lee, unconscious and unaware, flinched away, Bill's mind conjured all sorts of horrible scenarios and scenes. This wasn't supposed to happen, not to Lee.

Frak.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, after Addy, Helo, Sharon, and even Cottle assured him they would watch over Lee ("He probably won't wake up for

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't!

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is property of the show "Battlestar Galactica," all rights reserved, etc. etc. There is an original character in this- Adelaide Reynolds- but she's not really important to the story, she's not a Mary Sue or whatever, and I didn't base her off myself, so don't worry! Just enjoy (please)!

--

CHAPTER FOUR

The next day, after Addy, Helo, Sharon, and even Cottle assured him they would watch over Lee ("He probably won't wake up for a few more days anyway"), Bill finally took a break from Life Station. He went back to his quarters, took a shower and changed clothes, forced himself to eat, and then headed to CIC.

The crew was surprised to see him. "As you were," he called out when they stood up. As he passed Dee's station he paused, laying a hand on her shoulder and saying so only she could hear, "You should go see him if you want." Dee only nodded, eyes watering for just a second.

"Colonel," he acknowledged as he stepped up to the center console.

"Admiral," Tigh replied. Quieter, "Bill, you don't have to…"

"I want a Raptor ready to go to _Colonial One_," Adama broke in. "We need to find out what the Cylons' motives were for the… attack." He was semi-proud of how steady his voice was.

Tigh regarded him for a moment, then nodded, grabbed a line. "Prep a Raptor launch for Admiral and XO. Twenty minutes." Bill almost smiled, he should have figured Saul would go with him. Thirty minutes later, they were stepping off Racetrack's Raptor, greeted by Tory and Roslin.

"Madame President," he began walking towards Lee's quarters, Laura falling into step beside him.

"Admiral," she looked much better today. Stronger. She lowered her voice but still looked straight ahead. "You sure you want to do this, Bill?"

He didn't answer right away. "Helo has written up the official report but, uh…" he looked at her then, determined. She was forced to meet her gaze, seeing the worry and anger there. "I need to see this myself." And Laura found she couldn't argue. They began walking again. "Is it that bad?" he asked her.

Laura hesitated. "I don't know. I haven't gone inside yet," she gave a painful, weak smile. "I guess I was waiting for you."

By this time they reached Lee's quarters. A Marine was posted outside; he saluted as they approached. "Sir," he stood to the side. "No one has been inside since the rescue team left."

Bill opened the hatch and stepped in, Laura taking a moment to gather herself before following, with Tight right behind her. Tory opted to remain out in the hall.

Saul shut the door behind him… and then froze, seeing the words scrawled there in blood. "Gods…" he croaked out. It was silent behind him, so he turned to Bill, wondering what he thought of it.

But Adama wasn't looking at the door. He was looking at the table. Cords were still lashed around it, frayed from where Helo and Chief had cut Lee free. And there was dried blood everywhere. Everywhere. It was staining the tabletop and the surrounding floor. Laura took a step back when she realized she was standing on some of it. Her hand went to her forehead, trying to ignore the image in her head of Lee when he had been rushed past her yesterday on _Galactica_. Good Gods, this couldn't all be from him, could it?

She looked up at Saul's voice, then saw the blood on the door. "We… we have to figure out what that means, who it's intended for," she stammered out, all pretense of strength gone. She wanted to throw up. She couldn't believe this had happened to Lee. Her Lee.

'Wait. My Lee?' Where did that come from? Laura had barely spoken to him since Baltar's trial, feeling so furious and so betrayed by him. He had since tried to reach out to her, publicly and privately, but she had shut him out every time. And every time she had seen the hurt and guilt in his eyes, and every time she had told herself she didn't care, he deserved it.

Laura swallowed thickly, watching as Bill stared stonily at his son's blood on the door.

'Soon you will know.'

Lee didn't deserve this.

--

Kara paused at the curtain line, a little shocked that Gunny Matthias, her Marine guard, didn't try to follow her in. She looked at the Marine questioningly. While Matthias didn't smile, her eyes were kind. "I'd just get in the way in there," she explained. "I know you won't leave, so I'll wait out here." Kara had never been more grateful in her life, though she probably should have known. Matthias had always liked Lee; the two had commanded several ops together. She understood.

Kara nodded her thanks, threw a glance at Sam who was waiting on the other side of Life Station- also giving her space- and then entered Lee's curtained-off room.

Instantly she tensed, there were other people in the room, but then relaxed just as quickly when she recognized Helo and Addy. They were sitting side by side in chairs next to Lee's bed. She had her head on his shoulder and he had an arm around her, the other stretched out so his hand was resting next to, but not touching, Lee's arm. They were all asleep.

Kara inched her way over to Lee's bed, more terrified than she cared to admit. He looked so gods-damned awful. This was not her Lee, this had to be someone else.

"Come on Apollo, quit playing around," she whispered. "Wake up and fix this."

"Hey," a soft voice behind her. She whirled around, feeling guilty for no reason at all, to see Helo slowly waking up from his chair.

"Hey," she answered, just as quiet. Helo pulled his arm out from around Addy, gently putting a pillow under her head so he could stand up across from Kara. "Where's the Admiral?"

"Went to the, uh, crime scene," he cleared his throat.

Kara couldn't talk about it yet. "Athena?"

Karl knew what she was doing. "Went to check on Hera, spend some time with her." He looked down at Lee. "He looks better," he tried to sound reassuring. She stared at him, unable to comprehend how much worse he must have looked. Helo's face twitched for just a second, then he shook his head. "They let you out of hack?"

"I have to go back in twenty minutes," she said, eyes straying back to Lee. "I just wanted to see him," she reached out, brushed the hair off his forehead for a second. "You know, I, uh…" she shook her head, a little embarrassed, but knew if she could tell anyone this, it would be Karl. "I was so happy for him, when he joined the Quorum. I knew he'd be great at it, and it'd be good for him. He needed something." She smiled at the memory. "He came to say goodbye to me, before everyone saluted him on the deck."

"He did?" Helo asked, not really surprised. It sounded like the 'Lee' thing to do,

"The look in his eyes," she continued. "I haven't seen that… hope in him, in a long time. I didn't even know I'd missed it, but I did. And a part of me…" She stopped.

"A part of you what?" he urged her on, knowing she had to say this.

"A part of me was happy he'd be out of the cockpit, off _Galactica_. Someplace safe." Which made this so much frakking harder. "He got hurt somewhere I couldn't protect him," she hissed out angrily.

"Kara," Helo reached over Lee to grasp her shoulder. She looked up at him desperately, silently begging him to make her feel better. He looked at her, completely straight-faced. "You wouldn't have been able to do anything anyway. You're under arrest, remember?"

A beat of silence, and then Kara smiled. She and Helo both laughed quietly as she reached over and punched him lightly. Calm once again, she managed a smile at her friend. "Thanks."

Helo opened his mouth, still smiling, when a noise interrupted him. They both looked down at Lee, Kara with fear, Helo with resignation. He was shifting in his bed, shaking his head weakly, muttering. "Frak," Helo cursed, which woke up Addy.

"Is it happening again?" she stood a little sleepily next to Kara.

"Is what happening? What's going on?" Kara watched, freaked out, as Lee cringed and shook, but didn't wake up.

"Nightmare," Addy said grimly. "He won't wake up from them, the only thing to do is talk him back into his unconscious state."

"What?!" Kara looked up at Helo, who grimaced but confirmed this with a nod.

He leaned in closer to Lee, softening his voice. "It's okay Lee, you're okay. It's over, you're okay."

"Just a dream, Lee. Go back to sleep. You're okay," Addy kept her voice firm, though her hands were shaking. Neither of them touched Lee. He continued to struggle as much as his body would allow. Which wasn't much.

"Can't you just, just, shake him out of it?" Kara pleaded, hating the desperate, panicking note to Lee's voice.

Helo shook his head. "We can't touch him. If he feels it, he just gets worse," his tone kept Kara from asking what he meant by 'worse.'

"Just a dream, Lee, just a dream. It's okay," Addy was whispering, her hands gripping the side of the bed tightly. Lee cried out weakly, jerking as though he'd been struck.

Kara couldn't take it anymore. "Please, Lee, please. It's okay. We're here," her voice cracked. Finally, mercifully, Lee stilled, quieted, sinking back into oblivion. Helo and Addy both breathed sighs of relief, went back to their chairs. Kara shook her head, backing away to the curtains again.

"That was a bad one," Addy mumbled tiredly, pulling the pillow towards her. Helo sighed in agreement.

Kara stared at them disbelieving. "How many times has this happened?"

"Every couple of hours," Addy was almost asleep again.

Kara shook her head, taking another step back. Helo watched her worriedly. "Hey, Kara, do you-"

"I-I have to go," she choked out.

Helo's eyes were sad, but understanding. "Kara…"

"I have to go," she couldn't be here, watch this. Lee wasn't supposed to be broken, she was. He was the one who fixed things. He didn't depend on others, they depended on him. She couldn't be here and see him like this. So she left.

Back inside, Helo sighed again and settled back down next to Addy, leaning over close to Lee's bed. "I'm sorry, man," he whispered to his friend. "But don't worry, she'll come back. We'll watch over you till she does."

--

Gradually, Lee's eyes opened, glassy and unfocused. Bill pushed himself out of his chair, moving so he was in Lee's line of sight.

"Hey, kiddo," he said quietly, not wanting to startle him. Lee slowly slid his eyes over to him, and Bill waited patiently for his son to recognize him. He smiled when those bright blue eyes focused in on him. Holding up a cup of water and a straw, he asked, still quiet, "You thirsty?"

Lee nodded ever so slightly. Bill's smile widened, but just as suddenly slid away when he moved closer and helped lift his son's head. Lee flinched so severely and unconsciously that Bill nearly dropped the water cup.

Trying to cover up his shock, and not re-frighten Lee, he moved much slower, speaking as he did so, ignoring the fact that Lee's breathing was much quicker and panicked. "I'm just going to help you lift your head, okay? We can't raise the bed yet because of the strain on your ribs. Let me help you just a little. Just enough to get some water in you."

Lee closed his eyes for a second, reassuring himself that this was his father, no one was going to put a gag in his mouth, no one was holding him down, then opened his eyes again and nodded. He let Bill lift his head, but held himself so stiffly that Adama was afraid he'd strain the muscles in his neck. While Lee drank from the cup his father held for him, Bill noticed his hands were trembling and clutching the blankets around him so tightly his knuckles were turning white. And when he pulled his hand away from Lee's head, he noticed with a certain amount of sadness and disturbance that Lee's body relaxed back to before. He wasn't sure what was worse, Lee not wanting his father to touch him, or not wanting anyone to touch him.

"Better?" was all he asked. Now was certainly not the time to get into it.

Lee nodded yet again. He licked his lips, trying to bring moisture into his mouth. "H-how… long?"

It was the first time Lee had spoken outside of his nightmares. Bill ignored how weak and tentative his voice sounded and just rejoiced in the fact that he was speaking at all.

"Three days. We brought you back to _Galactica_ three days ago." He wanted to put his hand on Lee's shoulder, arm, somewhere, but he was afraid of what Lee's reaction would be. Instead he hovered close by, watching as Lee's eyes began to drift shut.

Just before they closed, Lee forced them back open again, looking to his father. "Addy?" he managed, face fearful and begging. Begging for one thing to be okay in all of this.

Bill was happy to have something good to report. "She's fine, getting some rest. You probably…" he trailed off. Lee's eyes had shut and his breathing had evened out as soon as he had heard Addy was okay. Figuring it was alright now, Bill placed his hand on Lee's forehead, gently running his thumb along the creases and worry lines that marred his son's face, trying to smooth them away. "You probably saved her life," he whispered. Rubbing a hand over his own face wearily, he settled back down in his chair, content to watch his son sleep in peace, if only for a short time.

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. He jumped only slightly and turned to see Laura smiling down at him. The fact that he smiled back encouraged her. She pulled her own chair up next to him.

"How's he doing today?" she whispered.

"Better than yesterday. And he'll be better tomorrow," he answered confidently. When she raised her eyebrows he continued, "He woke up. Honest to gods, he was awake and conscious for a few minutes. Doc said as long as he does that, he's on his way to recovery."

"And how's his… his," she gestured towards Lee.

"Nightmares?" Bill supplied. He tilted his head. "They come and go. Not as often as when we first got him here," he exhaled.

"I'm glad he's doing better. That's good," she said quietly, watching the rise and fall of Lee's chest. Her hands itched to reach out and touch him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "I've heard he doesn't like people touching him."

"Only when he's aware of it," Bill replied, no trace of humor in his voice.

"Do you know what they did to him yet?"

"No," was the short answer. The longer one: "We know most of the physical wounds, but as to what happened… hopefully, when he's stronger, he'll be able to tell us."

"Hopefully," she echoed.

He shot a glance at her, one she couldn't decipher, and then checked the time. "My shift at CIC starts soon, Adelaide will be in to relieve me here. If you want some time alone with him, I could-"

Laura stood up from her chair. "No, that's okay. I, I should really be getting back to _Colonial One_. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"How I was doing? Not Lee?" Bill knew the shaky ground he was treading on here, but a small part of him, okay, a big part of him, didn't care.

"Bill…" there was a note of warning, but also a note of resignation in Laura's voice.

"You have to forgive him at some point, Laura. You have to."

"Do I?" she asked. There was a part of her that would always hold tight to that feeling of betrayal and embarrassment from the trial.

"Yes," he said firmly. "Neither of you need this in your head right now."

"So I'm just carrying this bitterness around like a… cancer?" she was pushing it, she knew that.

"Laura." His voice was so quiet, so strained.

Laura regretted her words; Bill didn't need another fight right now. She looked over at his son again. She had always seen Lee as something of a kid, even as she watched him be a warrior. He was no more than a boy, really, and always had been. This boy, who had put his life second to the fleet, to humanity, for years now. He had stood by her literally from the beginning, from the moment she had been sworn in. He had shared in her ideals, her obligation to the welfare of the people. He believed in justice and the goodness of people, and fought for it every day. Lee was a good boy. He did the right thing- if sometimes in the wrong way as the trial proved. And he only got punished for it.

"You have to forgive him," Bill said again. "So he can forgive himself. You might not think he deserves it, maybe he doesn't, but… I want to be able to give him something right now. Do this, if not for him or yourself, then for me."

She stood next to Bill's chair, but he refused to look at her. She put her hand on his shoulder, just as she had when she first entered the room. Her voice soft, she told him, "I'll stop back in tomorrow, check on you both." He didn't try to respond, and she didn't try to wait for one.

--

When the push-ups stopped being enough, she moved onto crunches. Then pull-ups. Then the punching bag. Kara was running out of ways to make herself hurt. Grabbing a towel out of her locker, she wiped off as much sweat as she could, breathing hard. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned her back to whomever it might be, fiddling with the door of her locker.

"So they let you out of hack and this is your first stop?" Adama's voice nearly knocked the wind out of her. She forced herself to not whirl around crazily.

"Well, I've got a lot of pent-up aggression," she drawled, proud of how casual her voice sounded.

"He woke up," was his reply.

That's all it took. Now she whipped around to face him. "He's awake?" her voice was breathless.

"No. He was awake," he said softly, taking a sit on the bench next to her. "He's resting now. Cottle says he'll be in and out for the next few days, because of the meds he's on."

She nodded then turned her back again, busying herself with folding the towel.

"You haven't been in to see him since that first day," he commented. She froze, but didn't answer. Couldn't answer. He continued, "I just thought you should know he woke up. He's out of the woods."

Kara let out a long breath, shut her locker finally, and sat down next to him. "He's not supposed to be like that."

"Wounded?"

"Broken," she said shortly, her mind flashing to that night, Lee shaking and crying out in a nightmare.

"He's not," Adama fairly growled at her. "This is Lee we're talking about. He doesn't break."

"Admiral…" she hated that she could feel tears starting to well up.

"He's hurt. Badly. But he's not dying. He will. Get. Better," Bill emphasized each word.

"He still having nightmares?" she murmured.

He watched her for a moment. Without changing his expression, "Yes. And he will for awhile, and things will have to be different. But that doesn't mean he's not still Lee."

"Why did you really come here, sir?" Kara asked, not wanting to continue in this direction.

"Your release from the brig was finally okayed by the chain of command. You and Helo will be sharing CAG duties starting tomorrow. I wanted to make sure you were ready to get back into-"

"Why did you really come here, sir?" she asked again.

He smiled ruefully. "Because he needs you." He let that hang heavily in the air for a beat. "He's Apollo. You're Starbuck. He needs you."

--

Leoben entered the room without knocking. The Six… what was she calling herself now? Daphne?... barely acknowledged him, continuing to put fresh sheets on the bed. He silently took a seat at the small table, watching as she meticulously smoothed down the blanket.

"Are you expecting someone?" he finally asked.

She didn't even look up at him, her expression betraying nothing. "You never know."

Another bit of silence. Then, "You've been spending a lot of time in this room alone since we got back." She said nothing so he continued. "Your sisters are worried. They can't figure out what's wrong. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were moping."

"I'm not," was her quick reply.

"Well, I said I knew better," he smiled now. "You miss your pet."

"What?" Finally, a reaction. She glared at him, making Leoben smile wider.

"I knew it. I'm right, aren't I? I told you you'd gotten too attached to that boy."

"I don't know what you're talking about," her voice shook only a little, but he picked up on it. "That was an experiment, a study. I had a purpose for everything I did." She attempted to regain her cool composure, but Leoben was already in.

"As long as that's all it was. You can't feel anything for him, you understand?"

"What, are you speaking from experience, Leoben?" At his silence, she smiled dangerously and took a few steps closer to him. "Oh, like any of us have forgotten about Kara Thrace, the look in your eyes whenever you speak of her, think of her."

"Watch it," he warned, but Daphne had found her in too.

"You still think about her, don't you? Too bad she's in the fleet, still married." She was standing right in front him now. "Good thing you didn't get **attached**."

"Enough!" he barked, shoving her away. She smiled triumphantly. "Kara Thrace is different and you know it."

"Why, because of her big wonderful destiny? Her resurrection? Seems to me she's barely human anymore, not worth our time. He's different, he's truly worthy of being-"

"Studied? That's what you want to call it? With Kara I-"

"Love her? Is that what makes it okay?" she challenged.

"Do you love Lee Adama?" he shot back.

Silence. Daphne turned, went back to fixing up the bed. "No. I don't. But he's… he's so different from us and I want to know why. I want to know why I can't be like that and he can't be like me. We can't be together because we can't be the same." Leoben was confused by that but said nothing. She spoke again, quieter, "I can't get him out of my head."

Leoben sighed and decided to bring up the reason he had come in the first place. "We're going back to the fleet."

That got her attention. "What?"

"We were wrong about our message, the words in blood, getting the Final Five to seek us out. There's been no contact. It's possible Roslin and Adama are keeping them from us."

"If they even know who the Five are," Daphne pointed out.

"Doesn't matter. We need the Five now. We're going to jump in, grab, and jump out. They're going to have to trade the Five for some of their own."

"Who are we taking?" she asked, eyes shining with life and hope. It only confirmed Leoben's suspicions, but as she had just pointed out, who was he to judge?

"That's what we're meeting to discuss. Feel like leaving your sanctuary here and joining us?" he was allowing her to hope. She might get to see Lee again after all.

--

For the next few days Bill developed a very strict routine. Every moment not sleeping or in CIC was spent at Lee's bedside, aiding in his recovery. Each time Lee awoke he was a little more aware, a little bit stronger. And if he continued to flinch at sudden movements and unexpected contact, Bill pretended not to notice.

And Lee was grateful for that. The attack itself was still hazy in his mind. The only time he got clear pictures were in his nightmares, and he knew those were more made-up than true, a side effect of that poison in his wound.

Day by day he was able to spend more time awake, talking with his father, Helo and Sharon, Dee, Chief on occasion, the pilots. Addy came by when she could to fill him in on news from the Quorum and the fleet, but she and everyone else refused to let him do any work. And Lee was grateful for that too. He was getting better, less skittish around people, but he was still in a lot of pain. His left arm, where he had been shot, was bound and immobilized to his body, and the bandages covering his upper body itched at his skin constantly. If it weren't for his father and friends distracting him, he was sure he'd go insane.

Well, most of his friends. There were still two people he really wanted to see. One he knew wouldn't come, and he had already resigned himself to that. But Kara, he wondered where she was, how long it would take for her to come see him.

It took about four days. Dee was just slipping out of his curtained-off room when she ran into another person unexpectedly. She and Kara stared at each other for a few seconds, and then Dee just nodded and walked away. Kara watched her go until she realized that Lee was looking at her.

His expression was somewhere between relieved and cautious, and Kara knew that was her fault. Trying to break the tension a little, she raised her eyebrows. "Awkward…" she sing-songed, taking a seat next to Lee's bed. He cracked a smile, but his eyes continued to regard her carefully. He did look loads better, she had to admit. Some bandages had been removed, some bruises had healed. His hair was even cut short again, as short as it had been when she had first met him.

She realized she must have been staring at him because his smile became more forced, eyes glancing away. She cleared her throat. Speaking of awkward… "So you been enjoying your time off?"

He looked into her eyes again, and she silently begged him to take the bait. Keep the conversation light.

And then he smiled, really smiled. "You should try it sometime."

She smiled too, stretching in her chair so her legs were propped up on the bed next to his. "Yeah, I'll keep it mind. This is a sweet little deal you got here, lounging in bed all day, sleeping when you want, getting your food brought to you…" She would have kept going, but Lee was grimacing, his hand rubbing lightly at one of the bandages on his chest. "Lee?" Her legs dropped off the bed in a hurry and she sat closer.

"It's okay," Lee said, voice tight. "Some of the cuts ache sometimes, that's all. It's fine." With some effort, he pulled his hand away, determinedly placing it back on the bed. She watched the hand's progress, wanting desperately to grab it and hold on for a long, long time.

She couldn't pretend anymore. "You're doing okay?" she asked.

He smirked a little. "It's a relative term, but yeah, I think so. I'm doing better." He sounded so sure of that, she had to believe him. "Cottle says the drug's almost out of my system, so the nightmares are going away."

"You remember anything?" she had to ask but wasn't sure why.

His face fell. "Yeah. I'm starting to. Things come back in flashes." He shook his head a little. "Leoben was there."

Kara flinched as though she'd been struck. "My Leoben?" she asked without thinking, hating the way that sounded the second it was out of her mouth.

"Yeah, your Leoben," he didn't like it either. "There was more than one of him, but he… he did most of the talking."

"Did he tell you about your special destiny?" she tried to joke, tried to smile.

Lee's own smile was pained, faltering. "Kind of the opposite. My lack of destiny."

"What?"

"My lack of purpose. How I have no meaning in this life. You know," he waved a hand too casually. "Stuff like that." His face and body were rigid, tense.

"Lee…" She put her hand on his uninjured shoulder, thumb rubbing over the skin steadily, gently, and said the first thing that came to mind. "You mean something to me."

His face softened and he tentatively reached his hand up to hers. She grabbed it and held on for dear life, his and hers. She smiled even as she felt her eyes well up stupidly with tears. "If you need to talk about… any of it," she said quietly, "I won't judge."

"I know," his answer was immediate, barely above a whisper. He wasn't really looking at her anymore, staring up at nothing.

"Frak the Cylons and their stupid ideas of 'destiny'," she said then resolutely. "Who says their word is gospel?"

"They do," he replied, smiling a little again.

"Well, didn't I just say frak them?" she grinned then as his grip on her hand strengthened. It wasn't tight or distressed, just strong. "You," she said firmly, "are going to be fine."

He glanced over at her then. "I know, Kara. That's what I've been saying for days. Welcome to the program."

"Hey, I just got reinstated as CAG, my brain's a little overloaded," she protested. She had relaxed into a more comfortable position again, still holding his hand.

"You have a brain?" And there was that smile, the Lee Adama smile. She was right, he was going to be fine. With that thought lifting her, she proceeded to tell him all the latest pilot gossip, CAP reports, anything she could think of. She talked until long after her voice had grown hoarse and he had fallen asleep, and then she just sat and watched him, never once letting go of his hand. The Admiral had been wrong, kind of. It wasn't just that she was Starbuck and he needed her. It was that she was Starbuck and he was Apollo. They needed each other.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	5. Chapter 5

How to Be Human

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't! Enjoy!

Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming please!! And for those of you wondering: you know that old saying "it's going to get worse before it gets better"? Well, think of this chapter as the opposite. This is a mostly nice, light-hearted chapter, warm and fuzzy. Next few chapters after this? Not so much. Enjoy it while it lasts!

--

CHAPTER FIVE

The next time Lee awoke, he was alone. He let out a breath, not sure whether he was relieved by this or not. It was a good thing to not wake up to someone hovering over him, eyes searching and worried and asking about nightmares. On the other hand, Lee had to admit that having someone there usually kept the worst of the nightmares at bay. Ah, the bitter irony that had become Lee's life.

Movement at his side caused him to tense slightly- he was getting better, bit by bit- but he relaxed a little when he saw the small girl sitting in the chair next to him. Hera, he recognized, surprised. She sat, feet kicking a little in the air, watching him with curious but unafraid eyes.

He didn't know how or why she was here, but he felt compelled to speak. "Hi," he said, trying to keep the raspy quality out of his voice. She smiled shyly and gave a little wave with a hand that was clutching a couple crayons. There were papers in her other hand.

"What do you have there?" he asked, smiling a little, wondering if someone was going to be barging in any second to take her back.

Hera held up one of the sheets of paper, which had a dark-haired stick figure drawn on it. "Mommy," she said proudly.

Lee pretended to study the drawing, looking very impressed. "Wow, that looks just like her." Hera's smile widened, and Lee found his was as well.

"Hera!" a voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts. One of the medics, Layne, appeared at his curtain. "There you are! You can't run off like that, sweetie." She smiled at Lee. "Sorry, Apollo. She's here for a check up, and she was supposed to stay with me until her mother gets back."

"Where's Athena?" Lee asked, not bothering to remind her he wasn't Apollo anymore. Especially since it seemed everyone else still wanted to call him that. He was more focused on Hera who was reaching over, placing papers and crayons on his lap.

Layne couldn't help but grin at the girl's antics. "Raptor run, taking Adelaide back to _Colonial One. _Okay Hera," Layne held out a hand. "Let's go draw over at my station and let Apollo get some rest, okay?"

"No," Hera said stubbornly, pointing to the crayons she had just dropped onto Lee's lap. Suddenly Lee was smiling again, genuinely.

"It's okay, if she wants to stay here," he said, somewhat shyly. He met her eyes uncertainly. "Isn't it? I mean, we wouldn't want her to pitch a fit and disturb other patients, right?" Even as he spoke, he was pulling his tray over to his bed, piling her drawings and crayons on it.

Layne refrained from pointing out that Hera didn't really look like she was about to pitch a fit, and instead focused on Lee's face, the surprisingly hopeful expression there. Good lords, with eyes like that she didn't think she'd be able to deny him anything. She mentally shook herself and smiled back.

"The second you get tired, or she gets too loud…" Layne warned unnecessarily; the other two in the room were now focused on other things.

When Athena entered the med station, she could hear her daughter's happy, babbling voice but couldn't see her anywhere. She pushed aside that little bubble of fear that always followed her because of the opera house dreams, and sought out Layne. Who was alone.

"Where's-" Athena closed her mouth, confused, when Layne quickly jumped up and shushed her excitedly.

"You just have to see it," the medic said, pulling Athena over to Lee's bed. Sharon peeked cautiously through the curtain and couldn't help but smile. Lee and Hera were sitting on the bed, coloring together. Lee's left arm was still wrapped and tucked close to his body, but his right arm was hooked casually around her daughter. He colored with this hand, lightly shading something in while Hera worked on her own picture. She was talking nonsense to him, but he listened and responded, voice light and soft. Whatever he said made her laugh, and Sharon wanted to cry at the sight.

She hated to break it up, but knew Hera needed to get home for a nap. She cleared her throat softly. "Hey there," she said, smiling kindly.

Lee started a little, looking up guiltily, but Hera simply bounced in her seat, waving happily. "Mommy!" She picked up the papers on Lee's tray, offering them to Sharon. "Draw!"

"Well let me see these," she took the sheets from Hera, sitting down in the empty chair. Lee was avoiding her gaze as much as he could, instead watching Hera as she grabbed his hand, examining it, playing with his fingers. Sharon smiled even more. Hera had a fascination with hands, particularly if they were much bigger than her own.

Lee desperately tried to think of something to distract. "So… Addy? She's okay?"

Sharon nodded confidently. "The trip went fine, and she seemed to be alright being back on board. She told me to tell you she'd be back to visit soon with stacks of paper work for you to do." She was glad to see Lee give a real smile at that. Not wanting to embarrass him further, she went back to looking at the drawings. Most were just circles and swirls of every color, but one was a stick figure she recognized as herself from Hera's other drawings. After that was a picture of three stick figures holding hands, two small ones and the third as tall as the entire page. She flipped the paper around to show Hera. "Who's this?"

Hera pointed with enthusiasm. "Mommy," she indicated on of the small figures, "Hera" at the other, and "Daddy!" at the giant one. Sharon laughed at that, looking at the drawing again. She realized then that the "Daddy" figure's lines were much straighter and proportionate than the other two people.

She glanced suspiciously at Lee, who grinned bashfully, if a little triumphantly. "Just helping her make it accurate," he sort of mumbled. Sharon laughed again, wonderingly, at the change in Lee. He almost seemed back to the old Lee, back before the attack.

The last picture was a big yellow circle with lots of yellow dots and lines around it. "What's this one?" she asked her daughter.

Hera answered right away. "It's 'Pollo!" she pronounced, tapping her hand against Lee's side. "I draw a sun!"

Sharon looked over to him, a little teasing, but took pity on him when she saw him blushing. Wow, the eyes and the smile, and the blush on top of that? She knew her husband was quite the catch looks-wise and she had always considered him one of the most gorgeous men ever, but right then and there she could see why so many women talked about Lee Adama. She also noticed, however, that he had brought his right hand up to rub absentmindedly at the ache in his chest, and his eyes were fighting against closing. And Hera was still due for a nap. Sharon stood, reluctantly picking her daughter up off the bed.

"Well, I think that's enough drawing for today, okay baby? It's nap time now, for both of you," she looked pointedly at Lee. He looked up at her now, smiling ruefully.

Then Hera pulled out the sun picture, turning in her mother's arms to offer it to Lee. "Pollo," she said firmly.

Stunned, Lee accepted the drawing. "Thanks, Hera," he said, voice croaking slightly.

If Sharon caught it, she didn't react except to reach down and place a hand on his arm. She did notice, thrillingly, that he didn't flinch at the motion or the touch. So encouraged by this, she squeezed his arm gently before letting go and moving to the curtain.

"Thanks, Sharon," he said quietly, voice already dropping away.

"You too Lee," then she grinned, "But don't expect me to protect you when Karl finds out who drew that picture of him." His sleepy laugh kept her smiling all the way to her quarters.

And so it became an almost daily ritual. Without a lot of people knowing, Hera began spending an hour or two with Lee. The little girl obviously adored him, and his mood and sleep after her visits were always more peaceful. Even Cottle couldn't complain, and the sight and sound of the two together became a staple to anyone who spent regular time in the Life Station.

That included Laura Roslin. She was still avoiding Lee, asking about him from the medical staff and peeking in on him when she knew he was asleep. She had to admit, the sounds of Lee and Hera playing had eased her own sleep during treatments. She just wasn't ready to speak with him yet.

So each time she heard his voice, playful and light with Hera, being strong for his father and friends, she told herself she didn't need him. And when she would look in at him asleep and see him begin his recovery, she told herself he didn't need her either.

This worked for about a week. And then she risked a glance into his makeshift room one day, and nearly melted to the floor. He was asleep, as she had guessed, but she didn't know Hera was with him, also asleep. The toddler was curled up against his right side, head on his chest. He had an arm wrapped around her to keep her from rolling off the bed, hand resting lightly on her dark curls. His face was turned towards her even in his sleep.

The two of them together, peaceful, was such a striking picture that Laura found herself involuntarily taking a few steps forward, coming to a stop next to Lee's bed. She was content to watch him sleep for a little while. Studying his face, she was happy to note that the bruises there had all but faded, leaving only slight shades on his skin. There was a small scar at his eyebrow from the worst of those cuts, but the rest on his face had healed. His body was getting better; his arm was no longer bound and she had overheard Cottle talking to a medic earlier about Lee doing well in physical therapy. Pretty soon after that he'd be able to leave Life Station, and maybe life could get back to some realm of normal.

She couldn't help but smile as Hera shifted in her sleep and Lee unconsciously tightened his hold on her. Lords save her from the sight of a beautiful man with a child. Her mind drifted back through memories of the last couple years, fond memories of Captain Apollo, and then all of a sudden she was reaching out, laying a hand on his arm, squeezing it, and letting go. She turned to leave, almost to the curtain, when a soft and sleep-roughened voice called her back. "Madame President?"

She froze at the curtain line, steadied herself, and then turned around. "Lee," she whispered, smiling just a little. The look on his face- surprise, confusion, hopefulness- melted into a pleased smile when she moved closer to him. Gods, was he doing this to her on purpose? How was she supposed to be angry with him when he looked like that? "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he answered, repositioning Hera in his arms so he could sit up a little. He paused and looked down at the child when she mumbled in her sleep, relaxing when she didn't wake up. His eyes were searching when they rose to look at her again. "You? H-how have you been, your treatments?"

"Fine, fine," she waved a hand, wanting badly to dismiss any talk of that. It brought up uncomfortable memories of the trial. The hesitant look on his face told her he felt the same. He dropped his gaze again, and something in Laura shifted. She did want things to be better between them, she wanted to feel better about them. "I forgive you," she said very quietly.

He looked up at her sharply, questioning. She didn't say a word, just took a step closer, laid her hand on his arm again, and nodded. _I forgive you._

And suddenly, he smiled again. "Thank you, but I didn't ask for your forgiveness," he said, eyes bright and slightly teasing.

Laura couldn't help but grin in response, recalling the day when she had said that to his father. My, how things have changed. It was an easier silence between them now. Maybe they weren't back to where they used to be, maybe they never would be, but Laura finally found herself starting to let go of the bitter feelings from the trial. And of course, the Admiral was right; she felt lighter and Lee certainly looked like a weight had been lifted from him as well.

The silence was interrupted by the arrival of Helo, who really looked like he wished there was a door for him to knock on. "Sorry," he apologized, "I just came to get Hera for her nap."

"Too late," Lee smiled, indicating the sleeping toddler next to him. "She hasn't been sleeping long, though. I think you've still got at least an hour."

Helo grinned, carefully picking up his daughter. "So I guess you didn't get to draw anything today. Too bad I don't get to see any more portraits, huh? Who were you planning on drawing this time?"

Lee smiled back, though it was tinged with a little bit of embarrassment. "Thank you Captain, you are relieved," he ordered mockingly. Chuckling, Helo gave a little wave as he carried Hera out, nodding respectfully to Laura along the way.

She smiled at Lee again, happy with how easy-going he had become. "I have to go, too," she told him gently.

He nodded in understanding. "Thank you," he spoke sincerely, stressing each word. Laura couldn't help it; she suddenly and impulsively found herself leaning down to kiss Lee on the cheek. Both of them were very obviously surprised by the motion, and both decided it would be best not to comment on it.

She made her way to the curtain line, looking dignified as always. "Get well soon, Lee," she said by way of a farewell, smiling more with her eyes than her mouth.

"I will," he answered as she left. She had called him Lee; he'd never heard her use his first name before. He leaned back heavily in his bed, replaying the events of the past few minutes, the past few days. Kara, the Agathon family, his father, Dee, the pilots, the President… "I will," he repeated to himself, resolute.

--

"So why did you choose him?"

Daphne spun around from where she had stood staring absently at the bed. The empty, lonely bed. "What?"

"Why did you choose Lee Adama?" Leoben entered the room, sitting down and leaning forward in the chair.

"Where is this coming from?" she asked instead of answering. She sat on the foot of the bed, facing him but not meeting his gaze.

"Our only plan going into _Colonial One_ was to get the Message of Blood out to the Final Five. It was you who targeted him specifically. And just now you somehow convinced everyone that he should be one of the ones taken again. I never asked you why."

"Because," she said, finally looking him in the eye. "I want him."

"As your pet?" She didn't answer. He sighed a little. "It's a pretty high profile one to have. We could grab anyone off any ship. A small ship, unguarded… And yet we're going to try to infiltrate _Galactica._ Is there no one else-?"

"No. I want him." She cut him off, her hands clenching into fists.

He looked at them, shook his head at her, and then stood up, pacing. "I'm going to ask you why again. Like I told him, there's nothing special about Lee Adama. Especially where we are concerned."

"Exactly!" Her eyes were shining with emotion, passion. "Doesn't that strike you as odd? All of the humans that have some important tie to Cylons, they all float around Lee Adama. And yet… and yet he has remained so apart from us. Why?" Her voice held genuine curiosity.

Leoben smiled. "You're reaching. You found a good-looking boy that you got to have power over, and you'll use any excuse to do it again."

Her smile followed his, but was much more dangerous. "I won't deny that. There is a physical attraction there, I'm willing to admit it. But-"

"But you're not in love with him," Leoben cut in.

"No," she dismissed it too quickly, defensively. "He's too involved in the fleet to not get involved with us. Maybe he knows something about the Final Five…"

"You're reaching again," Leoben spoke in a teasing voice.

Daphne glared at him. "You can think of someone better for us to take? That girl _and _the Admiral's son… we'd almost be guaranteed he'd give up the Final Five if they are hostages."

"I thought you said Adama probably doesn't know who the Final Five are."

"I thought you said he did," she shot back. "And if he does, and the President does, then there's a good chance Lee does too." She smiled. "That's how I got the others to agree."

"But not me," Leoben took a step closer, invading her personal space. "I know the reason you want him back."

"No you don't," she tried to protest.

"You took it too far on the President's ship, you got too involved…"

"No," she objected, voice rising.

He rose to match her. "And now you want to know why you're feeling what you're feeling."

"Shut up," she growled in warning.

He looked Daphne up and down, smiling, making her grit her teeth. "You're letting the humanity infect you."

"Shut up!" she screamed, swinging a fist into his face.

He allowed it to happen, let the momentum carry back to the door. He opened it but paused in the doorway, wiping the trickle of blood away from his lip. "You know it's true, and you know I know the truth. You're feeling something you shouldn't, and you want him back so you can see how real those feelings are."

She was shaking, arms held tightly at her sides. "So what do I do?" she whispered.

His smile to her was probably supposed to be kind, but Daphne couldn't help but see the darkness in it. "It's going to happen. We're going to bring them back here. I suggest you use that time to either explore those feelings, or purge them from your mind. We can interrogate him, you can play with him, but when we're done… we're done. You get it out of your system."

He left her alone in the room once again. She slowly sank down again, her hand absently coming up to run along the silken sheets of the bed. The empty, lonely bed.

--

Bill had never rushed through a stack of paperwork as hastily as he did today. Seconds after he signed his name he had no idea what he had just signed for. And he didn't care. Lee was getting out of Life Station today, and Bill was already running late. He had told Lee he would be there at noon, promised even. Lee hadn't asked him to, of course, but Bill wanted to prove he was still his father and would be there for every step of recovery. And he was already screwing that up by about thirty-two minutes.

Finally entering Life Station, his eyes automatically went to Lee's bed. It was empty. Cursing under his breath, he went to find a nurse only to come across Cottle instead. The doctor barely glanced up at the strange sight of an out-of-breath and sheepish Admiral. "You just missed him. They took him to the mess, I think."

"They?" Bill asked dumbly.

"Athena and Starbuck." Cottle finally looked up, traces of what was possibly a smile on his face. "Lee wanted you to know where they were. Go meet up with them."

And Bill made it to the galley in record time. He could hear talking and laughing inside, including Hera's now very recognizable laugh. He stopped just short of the hatch as he spotted Helo standing in the doorway, secretly watching whatever scene was playing out inside. Adama stepped up behind him to join in the spying.

At a table in the corner sat Starbuck, Athena, Hera, and Lee. Athena was trying in vain to get her daughter to eat the vegetables on her tray, but Hera refused and decided instead to mimic Lee's actions. Lee was busy arguing with Kara about nothing and had no idea what Hera was doing, until Kara started laughing. Lee looked at her, confused, so she nodded towards the little girl.

Glancing over, he saw that Hera was holding her cup up to her mouth, but wasn't drinking. Just like him. And she was watching him. Slowly, he took a drink, and Hera did the same. When he sat the cup down, so did she. He picked up his spoon very slowly, fighting off a smile, and waited until she copied him before quickly putting it back down. When she put hers down too he picked his back up again, repeating the motions several times until Hera was giggling, catching on to the game.

"Hera," Sharon said tiredly, scolding, with a spoonful of vegetables, just as Kara said "Lee" in the exact same tone. Which set both Lee and Sharon off laughing, Hera joining in even though she had no idea what was so funny.

Lee tried to calm down at the indignant scowl on Kara's face. He turned his attention back to the toddler next to him, making a funny face to get her attention. She watched with incredibly wide eyes as he reached over and took a spoonful of her vegetables and ate them. Two seconds later she was determinedly following suit, and Sharon sat back with a relieved sigh. Catching a movement out of the corner of her eye, she looked over to the hatch. She couldn't decide then who looked like the prouder father in that moment, Karl or the Admiral. Bill realized their cover was blown and, clapping a hand on Helo's shoulder, stepped into the galley.

"Hey Admiral," Kara called out casually. Bill had to smile, she had probably known he was there the entire time.

"Starbuck," he greeted. There was a smile on Kara's face, a peaceful quality to her that he hadn't seen in a long while. And the man who was probably responsible for it was turning in his chair to look up at him, also smiling.

"You're late," Lee mock-reprimanded.

Bill put a hand on his son's shoulder as he pulled up his own chair to the table. Not too long ago he wouldn't have dared touch his son, but Lee had come a long way in his recovery this last week. "Yeah, looks like you really missed me," he replied good-naturedly, teasing, as Helo picked up his squealing daughter, sat in her chair, and pulled her into his lap.

"You get your quarters all set up?" he asked Lee, pulling Hera's tray closer to him so she could continue eating.

Lee nodded. "Yeah, my stuff got moved in this morning." While he was released from Life Station, Cottle refused to clear him for his job back on the other ship. While he was recovering under the watchful eye of Cottle and his staff, Lee was going to live on _Galactica_ once again, this time in private quarters in the same corridor as Karl, Sharon, and Hera.

"Pollo come play with me?" Hera grinned hopefully up at him. How was Lee supposed to say no to that?

"Absolutely," he said, ignoring the smirks on both Kara's and his father's faces. He knew the toddler had him wrapped around her finger, but he honestly didn't care. For the first time since those initial nuclear attacks on the colonies- for the first time in _years_- Lee had no real obligations to anything. No one demanded anything of him, expected anything of him, besides his recovery. It was an amazing if slightly terrifying concept. Sure, at some point he would have to go back to the Quorum, but right now… he was going to enjoy the time he had.

While he hated to admit it, some of things Leoben had said to him had stuck. He didn't appear to have a destiny like Kara or the President did. He wasn't the leader of humanity that his father was. He wasn't the bringer of the future that the Agathons might be. He was just a plain, regular man. And sometimes, surrounded by all these great people, it did bother him. What was the point of him being here?

But other times, like right now, Lee found he didn't care. _Screw the Cylons and their special destinies, right? _He was free to do what he wanted without fate weighing him down. He had people he loved and who loved him. He had friends, and a father, and a Kara. And there was a little girl who, right at this moment, was climbing into his lap and very seriously examining his hands for no reason at all. So what exactly was wrong with his life?

--

TO BE CONTINUED…


	6. Chapter 6

How to Be Human

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't.

I know the last chapter was kinda happy and light-hearted. Don't worry, I came to my senses. This one's dark and creepy again. Enjoy!

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CHAPTER SIX

_"Humans love each other. And it's something we can't seem to do."_

_"But… you can't fake that, sister. You can't give yourself a name and walk around with a new identity. You're the same __**thing**__ you've always been. You can't kiss a human and then become one."_

_"You would know?"_

_"You think taking this man- being with his body- will make you better? Give you whatever it is that you're after? You're delusional. Leoben told me-"_

_"Leoben is just angry we're not taking his little girlfriend-"_

_"Enough, Daphne! You're taking this too far. I don't know what's in your head, but get Apollo out of it."_

_"Natalie, you said-"_

_"Daphne-"_

_"You said I could have him. You all can have your time with him, but then I get mine. I need this. I need to know why I…"_

_"Why you what?... Daphne?"_

_"Not now. We're almost there."_

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"_Galactica_, Starbuck. You've got an unidentified bogey attached to aft port underside." Kara's voice sounded mystified, but not yet alarmed.

"What's it look like, Captain?" Tigh was feeling uneasy all of a sudden, but he couldn't explain why.

"Nothing I've ever seen before, I'm going to go in for a closer look. Hot Dog, take my six."

Adama turned to Gaeta. "Get a deck team down to port aft, see if there's any internal damage."

"Could just be debris collected to the underside," Tigh suggested, somewhat hopefully.

"Could be," Adama echoed. They shared a look. "Set Condition 2 throughout the ship, put ground squads on standby."

"Launch the Alert Vipers?" his XO asked.

"Not yet," was all Bill said. It could just be debris…

"Frak. Oh, frak! It's a ship!" Hot Dog's voice yelled frantically. "It's not Colonial. Repeat, it is not a friendly-"

Bill didn't wait for the rest. "Set Condition 1. I want anyone who can carry a gun on alert, Marines and soldiers on their way to port aft." His mind flashed to a few years ago, when the Centurions had boarded them. "Have guards go to Aft Damage Control, Life Station…"

"Lieutenant Gaeta, how the hell did it get past DRADIS?" Tigh yelled.

Something in those words jarred Bill's memory, a more recent memory. This wasn't like the last time, when the Centurions had slammed their way in. This was more like… "Damn it!" he yelled, startling the CIC. "Saul, take the con!" and then he was running out.

Tigh shoved two Marines after him. "Stay with him!" Then he turned to Dee. "Warn the rest of the fleet, tell them to hold back. They may have to make an emergency jump." He didn't have time to wonder where the hell Bill was going.

"Sir, DRADIS is functioning at one hundred percent. However the ship got on us, it's not by our error," Gaeta reported. "This thing just… appeared."

Bill, meanwhile, was pushing through the crowds of people running to action stations, forcing his way to private quarters. He didn't know how he knew, he just did: He had to get to Lee.

Reaching his door, Bill didn't pause to knock or listen for anyone inside, even to reach for a weapon. He shoved open the hatch, calling for his son. "Lee!"

No answer. It was as if no sound could pass through the room. Bill sensed rather than heard the Marines do a sweep, calling it all clear. He heard nothing. His brain was focused on Lee's empty bed. The blankets were strewn across the floor next to it. A folder of papers, a cup of water, and a few pill bottles had fallen from the nearby table. Signs of a struggle.

"Sir?" one of the Marines spoke up, breaking the suffocating silence.

Bill forced himself to speak. "Find out if anyone else is missing. Alert the squads that the Cylons may have taken prisoners," he said tightly. The muffled sound of an explosion stopped further conversation. Adama went to the phone by the door, nearly yanking it off the wall. "Combat," he barked into it.

Tigh picked up immediately. "_Galactica'_s been boarded, Admiral, where are you? We've got a frak of a situation-"

"Lee is missing," he interrupted. In the silence that followed, Bill knew he'd have to try to be the Admiral again. "Sitrep!"

"They sealed the causeway to aft port corridors, rigged it with traps."

Adama grimaced. "Are they still on board?"

"That's what we're trying to find out." Quieter, "You sure he's missing? It's Lee, he might have gone to help out…?"

"There are signs of a struggle in his room," Bill's voice was deadening. They took his son right out from under him. He was about to ask another question when a sudden, sharp scream echoed from somewhere down the corridor. Bill motioned to the two Marines to head in that direction, following right behind them.

The parts of his blood not already running cold fully froze at the sight in front of him. Athena was a panicked mess, breathing heavily, hands shaking. "Hera?!" she screamed out. She seemed to know there would be no answer, but had to yell anyway. While she continued to shake and hyperventilate, the Marines rushed past her into her quarters, one coming back out quickly, eyes wide.

"Lieutenant," Adama's voice was still maddeningly calm. Empty. Surprisingly, Athena responded.

"Sir," her voice quaked. "Hera's gone. Th-the woman who watches her when Helo and I are… both on duty…" She let out sob, the sound dry and scratchy. Her hands had come up to grasp her own head in some odd effort to calm herself. It didn't work.

Bill's eyes traveled from her face to her door. The Marine shook his head. The woman was dead. "Send word for Captain Agathon," he ordered. Athena looked at him, wondering at the tight sound of his voice.

"Sir…" she said again. Sharon gathered herself, tried to report. "They… they took my child…"

"I know, Sharon." The use of her first name startled her into looking him in the eyes. The despair there, the loss… it wasn't for her. Her sudden realization was confirmed with his short nod.

"_Apollo?_" she found herself whispering.

He didn't nod again, but somehow she got her answer. He knew how she felt.

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When they got back to the basestar, Daphne forced herself not to protest as Lee was taken away from her. It was part of the agreement, of course. So she sat in the hangar bay for a few hours, watching as one of her copies-Natalie- and an Eight took the crying little girl to her new room. As Simon and Leoben carried an unconscious Lee Adama to his new room. She sat and waited for her time to come, refusing to tap her fingers against her leg. She didn't do impatient, damn it.

She had no idea how long she sat there, _not _tapping her fingers, before Leoben finally came to her. "Your boyfriend's settled in," he said oh-so-casually as he leaned against the wall next to her.

"Is he awake?" Daphne asked cautiously. She was frightened now; her anxiousness to get to Lee when they boarded _Galactica_ had garnered her several warning looks from the other Cylons. Apparently Leoben wasn't the only one who thought she was getting too attached. The Ones and Fives especially didn't seem happy with her. But then, the Ones and Fives didn't seem happy with anything the Cylons were doing at the moment.

"He's getting there." Leoben graciously answered her question. "Simon has graciously allowed us to use Apollo as his test subject."

"The drug?" Daphne's heart beat quickened. Simon had been working on a psychoactive drug to use for human interrogation. He called it thiopentalam. It was supposed to induce a sort of mental anesthetic, leaving the subject open to mental and physical coercion. "He's going to try that thing on Lee? When?"

Leoben pretended to check his watch. "Five minutes ago." She was on her feet heading out by the time he looked up. "So I guess you'll be wanting to interrogate, then?" he called to her retreating back. She didn't bother answering.

By the time she got to his room, Simon was stepping out into the hallway. "I thought you might show up. He's awake now if you want to see him. Well," he amended, smiling triumphantly, "as awake as he can be right now."

"How much did you give him?" Daphne asked, peeking through the door's small slit of a window to watch her prisoner.

"Enough," Simon answered. "If the thiopentalam works, he'll stay conscious, but he'll be groggy and disoriented. Won't know where he is, who he's talking to, won't put up any kind of fight. So for this first time, go with simple questions, simple directions."

She smiled. "Perfect." She nodded, effectively dismissing him, and quietly entered the room, locking the door behind her. Lee was standing mostly straight, obviously trying to make his way to the door. He didn't even notice that he was no longer alone, the first sign that the drug might be working.

He stopped when he finally saw her, reaching out to the nearby table to steady himself when he wobbled on his feet. He studied her intensely, obviously confused.

"Hello Lee," she kept her voice soft and kind, as though he was a frightened animal. He shook his head, breathing heavily. That sound alone was enough to send Daphne back to that day on _Colonial One_. She had to force herself not to jump him right then and there. This had to go slow, both for the mission at hand and for her own enjoyment.

"What… who…?" Lee's voice was weak and stammering. He backed away a few steps uncertainly.

She countered with a few small steps forward, hands open and outstretched. "Do you know who I am?" she asked.

He shook his head, trying not to panic.

"That's okay," she assured him, remaining calm on the outside while inwardly she celebrated the initial success of the thiopentalam. "Do you know your name?"

He hesitated, wondering if he should answer her, trust her. She smiled kindly at him, and suddenly Lee found himself replying as though he had no choice. "Lee Adama."

"That's good Lee, good." She was happy with that, Lee could tell. Now if only he could remember who she was.

"What happened to me?" he asked, still stumbling on his feet. He badly wanted to sit down, or better yet lie down, but he didn't know what was going on and instinct told him to stay alert.

"You don't remember?" She seemed so concerned for him. But who was she? "You've been sick, very sick. We're taking care of you here, but you're not better yet. You should really lie down." Without him noticing, she had gotten closer to him. He took another hasty step back, but staggered again and would have fallen if she hadn't quickly moved forward and caught him.

She helped him to stand back up straight, and Lee found himself wondering how she could be so strong. But then her hands were on his shoulders, massaging them gently. The motion was so soothing that Lee's eyes began to close. He nearly faltered again, and she laughed softly.

"See, you need to get back to bed," she scolded him not unkindly. He shook his head, but it was a half-hearted protest. He really was tired…

Her hands drifted down from his shoulders to his hips, and she used the grip to gently push him backwards to the bed. She locked eyes with him. "Sit," she said gently. Lee's tired and jumbled mind could do nothing but comply. He sat on the edge of the bed, body trembling slightly, and then looked up at her expectantly as if waiting for more instructions. And God if it didn't cause Daphne to have to fight back that fiery feeling again. She cleared her throat, stalling until she was back in control. It was time to test the drug a little more.

"Do you know where your father is, Lee?" she asked casually.

He answered automatically, voice distracted and sleepy. "_Galactica._"

"And the President?" Daphne cupped his face with one hand, using the other to wrap around the back of his neck and play with his hair. He couldn't help but lean into the touch, eyelids drooping shut.

"_Colonial One_," was the quiet answer. "And she stays on _Galactica_ when she gets treatments." His eyes were closed, but she could tell he was still awake.

She smiled widely now that he couldn't see her. "For her cancer?" she prodded.

Lee nodded into her hand. "She doesn't have much time left…" he trailed off. Even drugged, he sounded saddened by this.

The thiopentalam was going to work! She decided to celebrate their success with a little indulgence. It also wouldn't hurt to test his compliance physically along with the mental side, she reasoned with herself.

She dropped her voice to a lower pitch, quiet and soothing, and a little suggestive. "It's warm in here, isn't Lee?"

"Hmm?" he was barely aware anymore. She pulled her hands away, congratulating herself when he gave a near-inaudible moan at the loss of contact. Using one finger, she tilted his chin upward and waited until his eyes opened and semi-focused on her.

"It's too warm in here," she said firmly. He nodded, eyes clouded over in confusion. She wasn't sure if he was actually agreeing with her or just doing what he thought she wanted. Either worked for her.

"You're too warm, Lee," she pressed one hand onto his chest, willing this to work. "Say it."

He looked at her dazedly. "Too warm," he murmured, his body shaking again.

"Say it again," she demanded.

"-'S too warm," his voice was muddled, but the words were clear enough. 'This is going to work,' she told herself.

She smiled benevolently, nodding encouragingly. "Yes, you're right; it is too warm in here." The hand on his chest pulled a little at his sweater. "Wouldn't you feel better without this on?"

He looked down at the shirt and then back up at her, his brain obviously trying to work this all out. He was too hot, now that he thought about it. The woman was right, if he was going to get well he needed to cool off. Right? Why couldn't he figure all this out by himself? How sick was he?

She had a hand on his face again, her skin cool against his flushed cheek. "Don't you want to feel better, Lee?"

He nodded. "Yes?" It was more of a guess than an answer.

It was all she needed. "Okay then, take this off," she said, taking a half step back, giving him room. He nodded again, glad to be doing something right, and gingerly pulled his sweater up over his head and let it drop to the floor. The simple act seemed to wear him out. Daphne gave him a moment to catch his breath while she picked up his shirt and folded it neatly onto the nearby chair. She then took a moment for herself, admiring the sight of him in his flight tanks once again- God, those arms of his were amazing. She put her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them as she had done before. It was time for another test. Well, she'd gotten him to talk for her and strip for her, let's see what else he can do… "Are you tired now, Lee?"

He tried to figure out an answer to that question. Was he? Something in him began insisting that he must be, but hadn't he been trying to leave this room at some point? And who was this woman?

"You're tired. You need to sleep some more," her voice was so unrelenting that he nearly fell asleep right then and there. But something wasn't right.

"What's… I don't…" he couldn't form the words that he wanted to say. He closed his eyes miserably. She sat down next to him on the bed and brushed a hand through his hair. Maybe he was tired.

"We'll talk when you wake up, okay? Get some sleep now," she was whispering into his ear. Lee felt his body slump a little. She put a hand on his chest, bracing him, keeping him from falling forward. Then the woman began to push him back to the bed, but something in him panicked.

"No," the word was soft and quaking, but Daphne heard it. She wondered if the drug was wearing off, and how much effect it still had on him. A more forceful approach was needed now.

"Sit back, Lee." Her voice was louder and commanding. His eyes were open, wide. It sounded like an order, and Lee knew to obey orders. Dutifully, he slid his body back a few feet until he was fully on the bed. She was smiling, but her voice was steel and he couldn't break free from it. "Lie down." He did, and he couldn't help but sigh in relief as his aching, weakened body relaxed onto the soft sheets.

She pulled a blanket up over him, and he looked up at her with questions in his eyes. She was still smiling. "See? You are tired, aren't you?" He couldn't help but nod, but that didn't appear to be enough for her. "Tell me you're tired."

"-m tired," he responded. He didn't know why, but he had to say it.

Daphne sat down on the bed next to him. "I'm doing what's best for you, and you know that." Hand gripped his shoulders. "You know that." Lee nodded again, but she gave his shoulders a hard shake. "Say it."

"I know," he was fading now but fought to keep his eyes open. "Where am I?" he asked, voice slurring on the verge of sleep.

"You're with me," was the simple answer. And then a hand was on his face, stroking his cheek slowly. He blinked up at her until she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Close your eyes," she told him, lips still pressed to his skin. When she pulled back, those blue orbs were closed. Daphne almost wept.

He sighed again, muttering something, and she shushed him with a finger on his lips, letting it linger there, lulling him back into a peaceful state. "Sleep," she said, and Lee saw no reason not to obey.

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TO BE CONTINUED…


	7. Chapter 7

How to Be Human

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I finally finished this chapter! It's been a bitch to write, sorry, and I think it was so hard to do because it's basically a filler/exposition chapter until I get into the action and darker stuff later. And this one took so long because I'm in major life upheaval right now. I just got a job in New York City so I've moved there, but I'm still apartment hunting. My home right now is an air mattress on my sister's floor. And so unfortunately, I'll be posting the chapters to this story and "Light of Apollo" as soon as I can, but I don't think it'll be as steady as it was before. Hopefully once a week, but I can't promise. (As the late posting of this chapter indicates.) Wish me luck!

Ammonite7: I looked into this dirtybadwrong stuff of which you speak, and I think you'll have to wait a chapter for that! I've got it mostly done and while I don't go _that _far, it does get bad. And wrong. And _maybe _a little dirty. But that's the next chapter; this one's less dirtybadwrong and more sadscarypainful. Is that a word I can use? Thanks for all your reviews, by the way. And I know I reviewed "Planes and Chocolate," but I wanted to say again that it's a great little story!

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't! Enjoy! There is an original character in here too, but she's not a Mary-Sue, she's not my attempt to put myself in the universe, or anything like that. I needed her for narrative reasons earlier in this story, and I brought her back for those same reasons in this chapter.

Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming, please!

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CHAPTER SEVEN

They sat around the tables in the war room. It was the meeting you were supposed to have when something like this happened. Strategy and planning. Information gathering and tactics. Kara had sat in on numerous meetings like this in the last few years.

No, not like this. People had been taken off of _Galactica_, right out from under them. And not just people, but children. Of course she had never thought of Lee as a child, he was undeniably Bill Adama's. And he wasn't the only grieving parent, as Sharon and Karl Agathon were very much present in this meeting as well. The whole thing made Kara want to throw up.

"We, uh…" Gaeta cleared his throat. "We figured out how they got past DRADIS." He slid a photograph across the table towards Adama and the President. "From Hot Dog's gun camera footage."

Bill stared at it for a moment. "Carbon composite," he murmured. If it weren't for the circumstances, he might have smiled.

"The sons of bitches stole our idea," Kara wasn't really asking. Next to her, Helo looked down at his hands, jaw clenching. It had been his idea in the first place. They had stolen his idea and his child. He might have stood up and walked out right then, if Sharon's hand hadn't slid into his, squeezing tightly.

Gaeta took a deep breath before continuing. "From what Lieutenant Hoshi and I have been able to figure out from the footage, it's a short-range jumping ship."

"But not a heavy raider?" Laura asked, her voice ringing out as steady as always. Kara admired that about her. If Laura was shaken in any way, she wasn't showing it now. Though her hands did look to be clasped extra tight in front of her.

Gaeta shook his head. "It's more like… like a heavy Raptor. Or the Cylon equivalent."

"So they couldn't have jumped far," Adama half-commented, half asked. His eyes moved to Gaeta for confirmation.

"Not in that first jump, no. Now, we can't say whether they may have jumped multiple times or if they transferred to another ship, or if they're floating next to us right now." He sighed, looking at the group around him- Adama, Roslin, Tory, Tigh, Kara, and the Agathons. "We just have no way of knowing."

"They're close." Sharon's quiet voice, almost a whisper, still managed to echo around the room. They all turned as one to look at her; it was the first words she had uttered since the meeting started.

"How the hell do you know that?" Tigh's voice cut the silence.

Sharon spoke to all of them, but her eyes were locked on Bill's. "Lee and Hera aren't just any people in the fleet. They're… they're important. Why would they risk taking them if there wasn't something for them to gain?" Bill nodded silently.

"You think they'll want to trade them for something?" Laura asked.

"Or someone," Sharon still spoke quietly.

"The Final Five. They're after the Final Five?" Starbuck breathed out, leaning back in her seat. From that angle, she caught Tory and Tigh exchanging a look but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what it was. She filed it away in her brain for later thought and went back to the conversation at hand.

Sharon took a deep breath, shuddering a little on the intake. Unconsciously, she leaned against Helo's shoulder for comfort. He squeezed her hand under the table. "I don't… I don't know, they may think we know who the Final Five are. Maybe they think we're imprisoning them, or that we'll kill them? I don't know." She shook her head desperately. "There has to be some reason they'd risk coming on _Galactica_ of all places to take hostages."

"If that were the case they'd contact us. And they haven't," Laura pointed out.

"Yet," both Bill and Kara murmured.

"But that doesn't leave us with many options," Laura pressed on. "What do we do? Launch a Search and Rescue? We have nowhere to go. Do we wait for the Cylons to contact us? We'd be keeping the fleet out here like sitting ducks."

"So you want us to keep on our current course?" Tigh asked, slightly incredulous.

Laura didn't- couldn't- really say yes. "They found us before, they'll find us again. If they want to contact us then they will."

"That's a big 'if' to base this decision on," Kara couldn't help but say. She felt her pulse quickening, as though panic was about to set it. _We can't leave them behind. We have to save them. We have to save Lee._ Her eyes moved to the Admiral, pleading.

But Laura got to him first. "Bill." Her voice was quiet, but firm. Regretful, but not placating. It held his attention and everybody else's in the room. "There's nothing else we can do right now."

Part of Kara agreed, but a bigger part of her was flashing back to Lee in a hospital bed, unconscious and fighting nightmares. _No no no._ Her hands were balling into fists almost against her will, her body screaming for some kind of action. In this moment, she found herself hating the President and her relationship with the Admiral.

"I'm not leaving my daughter!" Sharon voice definitely had more life to it now. Next to her, Helo remained silent, but his eyes fixed with icy defiance on the President. Sharon continued, "You can't ask me to- you can't _order_ me to." Her own gaze zeroed in on Roslin. "You took her from us once. Please don't expect us to follow your lead again when it comes to our child."

Kara had a moment of grim satisfaction when Roslin flinched at that. "There's got to be something we can do," she threw her two cubits in. "Maybe the Cylon in the brig will know something? Is there… I don't know… something in Baltar's old lab we can use to find the Final Five?"

"And what, do a trade? We can't contact the Cylons, and we have no way of knowing what these last five models are like." Laura maintained her control on the conversation.

"We can't just leave," Helo couldn't even maintain his control on his voice.

"Lieutenant Gaeta," Adama was restrained but steady. It wasn't until he spoke that Kara even realized he had been silent this entire time.

"Sir?"

"Start plotting out the next jump with the nebula's coordinates," he ordered, not looking at anyone. Sharon stood up quickly, her chair falling away from the table. Helo was right behind her, a little more calm but just barely. Kara followed soon after.

"Sir!" Helo's voice rang out first.

Bill silenced the three of them with a look. Kara couldn't help but quiet down. They may not look that much alike, but whenever the Admiral glared at her like that, she was reminded of Lee. Painfully reminded.

"Unfortunately, it looks like we won't be able to make that jump for a few days," Adama continued. "There are ships in the fleet that need tylium refueling, and we'll have to do them one day at a time," his eyes flicked over briefly to the President. "For protection. We don't want the Cylons showing up in the middle of a giant refueling mission, do we?"

It wasn't the best stall in the world, but it would do. Kara felt herself relax just a fraction, saw the Agathons do the same. Laura even seemed relieved; she hadn't really wanted to leave Lee and Hera behind either. She and Bill exchanged a small, frightened smile. It wasn't a lot to go on but it was better than nothing.

"No, we don't," Laura answered. She stood, as did everyone else not already standing. They all filed out, Kara being the last to leave. She closed the hatch behind her and watched the others go off in their own directions. Tigh and Gaeta back to the CIC, Tory and the President back to _Colonial One_. To her right, Sharon and Helo headed off to their quarters. To her left, Adama did the same. And Kara just stood still.

She wanted to follow someone. But she didn't know who, or if she was allowed. She just knew she was upset, worried, and had no one to share the feelings with. She couldn't share it with the people who would understand the most: the Admiral and the Agathons had lost their children, their loved ones. Kara had lost her… Lee. Her friend? Her wingman, her almost-brother-in-law, her almost-soul-mate? Gods, what a great frakking time to try to define _that_ relationship.

She laughed quietly to herself, surprised at the anger in it. The Agathons had gone off to her right, the Admiral to her left. And the Cylons were out there, gods-know-where, but they were out there. Kara couldn't go in any direction, so she stayed where she was, eventually sliding down the bulkhead until she was sitting on the floor, head leaning back. Idly, she wondered where Sam was, if he was still hanging out with Tyrol (why was he hanging out with Chief so much lately?).

"Starbuck?" a quiet voice caused Kara to open eyes she hadn't even realized were closed. Adelaide was standing in front of her, holding herself in that restrained-anxious way she so often did. Kara wondered how long she had been waiting there. Probably since the meeting had started.

"We're going to hold here for a few days," she murmured, answering the question before Addy could ask it. Addy let out a breath- in relief? in fear?- before leaning back against the wall opposite Kara, lowering herself to the floor. She looked at Kara warily, as though Kara might be angry at the company or angry Addy was copying her stance. But Kara was neither. She simply sighed, head leaning back against the bulkhead again. Adelaide stayed silent, playing with an errant string on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Do you think they'll kill him?" the question startled both of them. It took Kara a second to realize that she was the one who had asked it. Addy's eyes watered almost instantly, and she hastily tried to wipe them before Kara noticed. (She noticed.)

"I don't… no, I don't think they will. Not right away," Addy's whisper echoed against the metal bulkheads. Her lips pressed together tightly, eyes furrowed, in an expression that was so Lee-like that Kara knew Addy had to have picked it up from him. It almost hurt to see, much like the Admiral's look had earlier. She didn't ask Addy to elaborate, but the aide did anyway. "They're going to want to play with him first. They must have taken Lee so they could…" she swallowed convulsively before continuing, "…finish what they started on _Colonial One_."

"That's good," Kara said, sounding overly-strong and just a little bit desperate. "It gives us time to find them. Gives me time to kill them."

"Kara…" Addy shook her head, eyes watering again. This time a tear fell, but Kara was too busy trying to remember when the last time was the Addy had called her by her real name to notice. "…I was there when they found him after the first attack. I treated him in the Raptor on the way over here. The- the bruises on him, the hand and finger prints-" She tried to keep her voice stoic, the voice she had used when she had been a medic, but it didn't work. She locked eyes with Kara. "-He may want them to kill him."

And Kara felt like throwing up again.

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Lee felt like throwing up again. He already had once (technically twice, but the second time was really nothing more than dry heaves) after he had woken up. That plus the disconcerting feeling of not knowing what had happened in the last six hours left Lee feeling incredibly… freaked out. It was not a phrase he usually equated with himself, but right now he definitely could say he was freaking out.

The last thing he remembered was waking up in his room on _Galactica_ just as the hatch was forced open. When a group of Cylons- including Leoben and a Six (was it the same Six?!)- entered, at first Lee thought he was in a nightmare again. By the time he realized it wasn't a dream they were on the attack. He was sure he had fought back, but there had so many of them and Lee still wasn't up to his full fighting strength. He hadn't even remembered leaving his room, but obviously he had. He had also apparently left his ship, and lords near if they were still even in the same star system.

"Frak," he murmured, leaning his head back. He was sitting on the floor against the far wall, across from the door so he could see if anyone tried to come in. There was a chair in the room, as well as a small table, but he refused to sit in it; he had some pride, after all. He didn't know what his pride had to do with not sitting in a chair, but it felt like he was fighting them in some way. _Frak you and your frakking chair_.

And there was no way he would sit on the bed. He had awoken there, _tucked in_ under the blankets. That had worried him, and for some reason, just looking at that bed was disturbing. (The Six? Was she here?) He was still wearing his cotton drawstring pants and tanks that he had put on this morning (and it had only been this morning, he knew, because he was also still wearing his watch), but the shirt he had remembered putting on was now folded neatly and lying on that chair. What the frak had happened?

And then there was the headache. It wasn't a normal someone-hit-me-on-the-back-of-the-head headache; those Lee was familiar with. This was a pounding from deep inside his brain, leaving him dizzy, unfocused, and terribly nauseous. Hence, the complete upheaval of his stomach. Now, awake for about forty minutes, he sat on the floor, willing his body to get back to full strength. It wasn't working.

A slight movement out of the corner of his eye brought Lee's attention back to the door. Through the tiny slit of a window, a figure approached his room. (Cell? Room? Whatever it was, thinking about it hurt his head even more.) He tried to push away his discomfort and push himself up off the floor when the door opened. Leoben and the darker skinned man- Simon?- made their way inside.

While Simon stood quiet and still by the door, Leoben approached with a boldly casual air about him. He sat down in the chair, knocking Lee's folded shirt to the floor as though that would piss him off, and purposefully glanced around the room. "It's step up from _Galactica_, isn't it Apollo?"

A dozen replies ran through Lee's brain, some profane, some witty, all insulting, but he chose to say nothing. Partly because he knew it would accomplish nothing and partly because he was afraid he'd throw up again. It must have shown on his face, because Leoben let out a chuckle as he studied him. "What you're feeling right now? It's a side effect. Simon here," he nodded to the still-silent figure behind him, "fed you a test-drug a few hours ago called thiopentalam. And according to Daphne, it worked."

'Daphne? Who the frak is…'

Leoben smiled again, an apparent mind-reader. "She didn't have a name when you two first met," he said oh-so-casually.

The panic hit him full force a moment later. The Six was here. Had been _here_, in this room while he had been drugged. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember a damn thing that might have happened. Frakfrakfrakfrakfrak. The weight of possibility slammed into his chest, nearly knocking him back to the floor. While he continued to glare at Leoben, his right hand unconsciously reached up to his left forearm, feeling the bruising and puncture of a needle mark there. 'No. She didn't do anything. She couldn't have. I would know if she… if she did something,' he tried to convince himself.

Leoben chuckled at the internal struggle in their captive. "It's okay if you can't remember what happened," he spoke soothingly, his smile twisting, his features turning sharper. "You'll have plenty of other chances to work on it."

Gods, he really kept twisting the knife, didn't he? Lee wanted to throw himself across the room and snap the Cylon's neck, wipe that smile from his face, but he couldn't. Instead he worked to calm himself down, leaning back against the wall, arms crossed defensively in front of him. "What do you want this time?" he finally asked, his voice hoarse and biting.

"What do you mean 'this time'?" Leoben prompted, in a way that told Lee he already knew the answer.

Lee couldn't help but play along. "On _Colonial One_, you said you wanted to leave a message to some friends of yours. So why am I here now?" The dizziness was finally starting to fade, making Lee feel bolder. "The message didn't get through, did it? Something was supposed to happen but you failed."

The Cylon didn't move an inch, but Lee could feel the tension in the room rise. "It's a prophecy, something spoken by our hybrid." Lee glanced over at Simon, but the tall Cylon had yet to move, seemingly content to observe the human as though he were a test subject. 'Which I am,' Lee somewhat fearfully reminded himself. Leoben continued, "She spoke of the Message in Blood. Human blood spilled on human grounds would cause the Final Five to re-awaken. Using the blood to write the Hybrid's words was supposed to bring the Final Five back to us."

Re-awaken? "Soon you will know," Lee murmured more to himself than the others in the room. Leoben nodded anyway. "But it didn't work," Lee needlessly reminded him.

"Which means your father and the President know who they are and are keeping them from joining us."

"What?" Lee shook his head at the absurdity of that, pleasantly surprised that the motion didn't make him want to throw up. "That's the conclusion you draw? I thought machines were supposed to be more logical than that." He gave a little laugh. "Has it not occurred to you that you may have misinterpreted that Hybrid's words? Or that maybe they meant nothing? Or there are no Final Five to begin with?" Leoben had stood up while Lee spoke, but he ignored the Cylon, pressing on. "It's like you're all going on some fool's errand. And using me to do it…" his thought process caught up with his mouth just then. "Gods, you're holding me hostage, aren't you? This is so ridiculous, no wonder you toasters are-"

Leoben's fist connecting with his face shut him up. Lee's body was thrown to the side, but he managed to stay upright. Slowly, he straightened back up, facing Leoben head on. He reached a hand up to wipe the blood away from his lip, eyes maintaining contact with Leoben. "You know," he continued, quieter, "I always thought the Cylons were insane, but I never thought of you as this desperate-"

Another punch, though this time Leoben's hands shot forward to catch his shoulders before he could tilt to the side. This hit had connected much more solidly, and it took Lee a few moments to get his bearings back. In that time, Leoben twisted him around and shoved him into the wall, binding his hands behind his back. "Let's go for a walk, Apollo," he said, still casual, still cordial. It was enough to make Lee want to rip his heart out through his throat. Or something violent like that. But he could do nothing as Leoben turned him around again to face him. The Cylon nodded over to his companion, who was finally approaching the two of them. "Simon and I, we'd like to ask you a few questions." They each held an arm and dragged Lee towards the door. "And Lee? Trust me when I say if we don't like your answers, you'll regret it."

Out of instinct, Lee tried to pull out of their grasps, but it was useless. They were machines, after all. Their grips were like steel bands on his shoulders. But still he tried. He wouldn't let them see anything but contempt from him.

But of course, once again Lee Adama was karma's bitch. No sooner had he resolved that within himself, when Leoben twisted that knife just one more time, going in for the kill. "And when we're done with you, we'll see what Daphne and that little wonder drug can do. After all, it's like you said Apollo, she is a little desperate…" And with that Lee was pulled from the room, door slamming shut behind them.

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TO BE CONTINUED…


	8. Chapter 8

How to Be Human

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't! Enjoy!

Thanks for the reviews! Ammonite, I applied some of your critiques to this chapter and my other story, I hope it works better! Thanks!

angry penguin: wow! Your reviews exploded my inbox and made me very happy. Thanks for your encouragement and everything. The best thing is that I got all of them the day before my birthday, so it was like a nice little present wrapped in a fanfic bow. Thanks!

**BIG A/N WARNING DISCLAIMER ETC:** …Okay, remember how a few chapters back I warned that it would get dark again?... yeah. We've reached that point, I think. So here's your warning: darkness and angst and slightly disturbing stuff ahead! Possible but not completely non-con. Brace yourselves! (The exclamation point seems a little too peppy, doesn't it?)

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CHAPTER EIGHT

Most of the crew on _Galactica_ were in a state of perpetual 'hurry.' It had been two days since Lee and Hera had disappeared, and no one wanted to rest. Even those who weren't involved in the search and tactical meetings were volunteering for extra shifts, pitching in where they could. Everyone felt like they needed to help in some way.

Considering the flurry of motion that filled most of the ship, the emptiness of the lowest aft causeway was jarring. But it also made it the perfect meeting place. A hatch opened slowly and one dark-haired head peeked out.

"Okay," Sam said. "It's clear." He stepped out into the corridor, the other three following just as cautiously.

"So we're agreed," Tory said one more time, looking at each of them.

Tyrol grimaced. "I don't know… I don't-" He and Sam exchanged a glance.

"Look, there's nothing we can do. We don't know where the Cylons are, where they took Adama and the girl. We haven't received some magic signal." She shook her head. "We haven't heard any music."

"But they're after us," Tyrol argued back. "Maybe if we-"

"What, you think turning yourself in is going to fix everything?" Tigh drawled, standing in front of the Chief. "You think coming clean is going to save their lives? Save _our _lives?"

"You weren't there, Colonel," Sam said quietly. "You didn't see what they did to him."

"I saw enough," Tigh snapped, eyes flashing. "You think I don't want to get those two back? The Old Man's son, you think I don't? But there's nothing. We. Can. Do."

"The Admiral's only going to be able to stretch this 'refueling' thing for another day or two," Chief leaned back against the wall, but he looked anything but relaxed. "If we haven't found Apollo and Hera by then, I…"

"You'll what?" Tory's face was a mix of challenge and trepidation.

His hands balled into fists at his sides. "Since we've found out who- what we… _who _we are, all we've tried to do is stay ourselves. Pretend we're still human. But if we just let this happen without trying to help, we really are just a bunch of frakking toasters."

Sam felt a little like he'd been punched in the gut. _I can't be one of those things_. Isn't that what he had thought when they'd brought Lee back from _Colonial One_? He had no idea if there was anything he could do, but wasn't Tyrol right? He barely noticed when Tory stalked away without another word. His attention was brought back, however, when Tigh moved to stand in front of the Chief.

"You think long and hard about what you're saying, Chief," the Colonel warned, his voice barely above a growl. Tyrol met his stare for a few seconds before reluctantly looking away. Tigh nodded, more to himself than to anyone else, and walked off. Tyrol and Sam were left staring at each other.

After a beat of silence, Sam opened his mouth to say… something, but Tyrol gave a quick shake of his head and pushed away from the wall. "Got to get to the deck," he grumbled, looking away. Sam could only nod and follow the Chief out of the causeway and up towards the rest of the ship.

When they reached the deck, Chief was immediately swallowed up by the crowds of pilots and deckhands running around, losing himself in his job for a little while longer. Sam kept to the outside of the hustle, along the far wall, just watching. Even before finding out he was a Cylon, he had never really felt like he was one of them. One of _Galactica_'s crew. He was many things to many people here, but 'fellow pilot' just wasn't one of them.

Speaking of pilots… He spotted Kara sitting on the deck not far from him, fixing a piece of machinery in her lap. She wasn't looking at it, though. While her hands moved quickly and efficiently, her eyes kept straying over to the Vipers. One Viper in particular, he noted. He didn't have to guess which one- it was Lee's old Viper.

And what was he supposed to do about Kara? The only thing Sam knew when it came to her was that he didn't know anything. Whatever he was to her changed with her moods, and that happened so fast Sam was never able to catch up. By the time he was able to be what she needed, she was already on to needing something else. It was exhausting. It was a battle. And if (when?) she found out he was a Cylon... it would be a battle he wouldn't win.

"Hey, Sammy." Her voice called him out of his thoughts.

"Have you eaten yet today, Kara?" he asked, voice staying on just this side of stern. Stern wouldn't help. Stern would push her away. (Part of Sam wondered if, at this point, pushing her away would be good thing.) Her shrug meant no, but a 'no' she didn't want to argue about. Sometimes she wanted to pick a fight, but she would be direct about it, belligerent. The Kara he was talking to now was distracted and worrying.

"Haven't seen you much lately," she commented.

Sam couldn't tell if she was trying to get at something or not. "Could say the same about you," he murmured. She still wouldn't look at him, eyes fixed on the Viper. There were times after she had mysteriously reappeared that Sam had entertained the thought that she, too, was a Cylon. Because it meant they still had a chance. But now, Sam knew he was a fool. It didn't matter what he was, what she was.

They didn't belong to each other. And if or when they found Lee, Kara would realize that.

"Sorry," he heard her say softly. Now she was purposefully not looking at him.

In fact, it wasn't until Sam sighed and walked away that she turned her head. And her entire demeanor changed. Her eyes narrowed and focused on her departing husband's back. The machinery in her hands dropped to the floor next to her.

Something seriously strange was going on. It had been picking at Kara's brain for two days, and now she had to admit that there was something going on with Sam. And not just Sam, but his new friends too. She had no idea why he was hanging out with Tyrol so much, or why he would disappear for a few hours on end just as Tyrol and the XO would too, but she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Sorry, Sam," she said again. Maybe she couldn't do anything for Lee right now, but her gut told her something was up with members of _Galactica_'s crew, and she was going to find out what.

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This would be the fourth time Daphne was to interrogate Lee with the thiopentalam. It was obvious by this point that he really knew nothing of the Final Five, but a large part of her didn't care. The question-and-answer part of their time together didn't really interest her anyway.

She opened the door to his room and locked it behind her, eyes immediately searching for her pet. At first she couldn't find him, but moving farther in, she found him huddled on the floor next to the far wall, shaking. He hadn't even heard her enter the room, and Daphne took that to mean that Leoben and Simon's interrogations had gone a little rougher than usual. She could see some new bruises and lacerations on his shoulders, and his tanks were ripped, showing more wounds on his sides and chest. Good thing she was there to take care of him.

Deciding the best plan of attack was an ambush, she crept closer to him, syringe at the ready. He probably still hadn't come down from the last dose, but Daphne wasn't going to take any chances. She crouched down in front of him. "Hello Lee. Can you hear me?"

He lifted his head, looking at her blearily. "Y-yes," he whispered, voice scratchy. She nodded at him calmly, smiled, and just as he seemed to relax and trust her she moved without warning and plunged the syringe into the side of his neck. He gasped, surging forward, but she simply caught his upper body and held him close, deploying all of the drug into him before pulling the needle out and tossing it away.

"No, no," he mumbled against her. She rubbed a hand along his back, comforting him until he quieted and his body sagged bonelessly.

She waited another moment before sitting him back up, propping him up against the wall. She sat in front of him, studying his eyes. When they finally clouded over, she smiled. "Do you know me?" she asked.

He regarded her for a moment then nodded slowly. This had become her ritual, making sure they never damaged him too badly, but also training him to trust her. "You- you take…" He was still hesitant.

"That's right, I take care of you." This drug was amazing. Simon was a genius; Lee had no idea what was really going on around him. "Do you know your name?"

"Lee Adama," he answered automatically. It was probably a ritual for him too.

"Good, Lee." He continued to watch her warily, glancing at his surroundings. "Lee," she called his attention back to her. "Are you hurt anywhere?" She knew he was, but she wanted to test his awareness.

He tried to think, but found everything was too foggy. Someone was in front of him- a woman? _The_ woman. The one who had been here before. Was she taking care of him again? Was he hurt? Was he sick?

"Lee, answer me," she persisted.

Without hesitation, his mouth answered before his brain could. "Yes."

Her expression was sad for him. "I'm so sorry, you must be in a lot of pain. Are you?"

He probably was, but he couldn't tell. "I-I don't… know," he whispered honestly.

She leaned forward, her arms going around his neck, squeezing tightly and possessively. She smiled hungrily. "Good."

He wondered at that, but then she was kneeling by him, concerned again, and he forgot everything else. "Maybe you should lie down, it might make you feel better. Do you want to do that?" Her tone was concerned, warm, and inviting. From that feeling, he couldn't help but trust her. Something about her was so familiar.

His mind got caught on the phrase 'lie down.' That sounded like an amazing idea. He nodded at her hopefully, even relaxing when she stood up and pulled him to his feet. He swayed slightly, but she held onto his hips until he was steady. She let her right hand trail across his stomach, eliciting a shiver from Lee, before taking hold of his hand and leading him across the room to the bed. He followed her silently, almost meekly, and she felt that fiery rush in her grow. She decided to give in to that feeling, letting it guide her through the next few minutes.

Without saying anything, Daphne turned to face him, still holding his hand. _Frak it._ Her other hand snaked around his body, pulled him close, and then she spun them both so his back was to the bed. She shoved him so that the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, and he fell and had no time to react before she was on top of him. He struggled a little out of some nearly-forgotten instinct, and that both angered and excited her. She gripped his arms, holding them steadfastly to the bed. "Lie still," she hissed. And God bless that drug, he did. When she took her hands away from his arms, they stayed right where she had put them.

Daphne went after him again, hands braced on either side of his body. She kissed his collarbone and neck, first quick, then slow, needing to taste him. She wanted to get at the rest of him, but knew she'd have to get those tanks off first. And to do that… she let the fire in her take charge again.

"Sit up," she growled into his ear, lightly biting at him. He obeyed, shakily, overwhelmed by what was happening to him. The drug prevented him from really understanding, and the only thing he could comprehend right now was that he had to follow that voice. But the part of him that was still Lee wanted to fight, and so he pushed himself up and away until he was sitting against the headboard.

Unfortunately, this was just what she wanted. She climbed into his lap, pressing her weight down on his legs. "It's okay," she moved to hold his face in both hands, wanting him calm. Her voice dropped down to a whisper, "This is a good thing. Let me take care of you." Daphne waited for a moment until he stilled, exhausted and disoriented. She contemplated making him remove his flight tanks himself, but a better idea started to take shape in her mind.

She grabbed the bottom of the tanks. "These are in the way." He didn't respond, but also didn't fight her off. He simply watched her, confused. She continued, "They need to come off, don't they?" When he didn't answer, she pressed her body down harder until he moaned softly. "Don't they?"

"Yes," he answered against his will. He tried to process everything, but his world was so mixed-up he didn't have a real idea of what was going on. He was being touched, but it wasn't like before with those men, being chained down and beaten. This was different, and Lee couldn't figure out how he felt about it.

But you can't take them off yourself," she was still talking, not giving him time to sort out his thoughts. For some reason he had to listen to her. "You're too hurt, too weak. Your arms feel heavy, right?"

And suddenly they did. It would take too much energy and pain to move them. "Yes," he said again.

"I could help you," she lifted the shirts just a little. "If you want me to."

"Yes," he repeated, thinking this was the right response. If she wanted it, then it must be right.

She shook her head, looking deeply into his eyes. He felt himself getting lost in them. "Tell me to help you."

"Help me," his voice cracked.

She pulled the shirts up a little more, just her fingertips grazing the skin underneath. "Again."

"Help me," he whispered. He wanted to do whatever she wanted. His body shifted restlessly, searching for more of that touch, and he inhaled sharply when the tanks moved a little higher again.

She leaned in close, lips next to his ear, the fire in her nearly overpowering. "Say please," she teased him.

"Please help me," he wasn't necessarily begging, more like repeating the words back to her, but the basic yearning in his voice was still thrilling to hear. She pulled the tanks off in one quick motion, causing him to involuntarily lift his arms to aid the material in passing over his shoulders and head. Before they could drop down, she grabbed his wrists in her hands and pressed them back against the headboard, pinning his arms above his head. She moved in, kissing him passionately. He gasped at the shock, and she took advantage of his parted lips by sliding her tongue in to explore his mouth.

He seemed too dazed to react, and she pushed her attack. She continued kissing him, biting his lower lip hard enough for him to wince and turn his head to the side. But that just presented something new to her, and she planted kisses from his chin up his jaw line, nipping at him with her teeth along the way, eyeing a particularly impressive bruise that decorated nearly the entire left side of his face. Ignoring it (what Leoben and Simon did during their time with him was not her concern, right?), she found that sensitive spot between his jaw and his ear and met the skin there with her mouth. He couldn't help but shudder in response, groaning in something akin to pleasure. He couldn't help it.

Overcome by the situation, she paused to get herself under control, laying her hand on the flat of his stomach and watching it move up and down with his breathing. His eyes opened slowly, brow furrowing in confusion. "What…?"

She smiled again. "Trust me," she spoke from low in her throat, the desire in her roughening her voice. She also couldn't ignore the fact that it caused him to shiver as well. "Tell me you trust me." She held his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers. Wonderfully, he gripped her fingers in return.

"I trust you," was his strangled, automatic response. Maybe he didn't really believe them, but she wanted- needed- to hear the words.

"Yes, you do," she whispered. She kissed him again, calmly and deeply. He didn't necessarily kiss her back, but he didn't reject her either. She could change that. Still holding his hands, she finally pulled them down, reaching back and forcing his arms to go around her, clasping his hands behind her lower back. After making sure they would stay there, she laid both of her hands on his chest and leaned down to kiss the skin there.

Her mouth worked its way up slowly from his sternum to his throat, lightly scraping her teeth against it. She was trying to make his entire body react again, so she was extra careful not to reopen any wounds he already had. It wasn't until her tongue traveled along his jaw that it worked; his hold on her tightened while he arched his body again. She held both sides of his face, running her tongue along the other jaw line, and almost cried out when he turned towards her, nearly meeting her lips with his own. She sat back for a startled second, breathing heavily, as he unknowingly did the same.

Deep down, Daphne knew he was beyond consciousness right now, the drug was coursing through his body and mind and he was running purely on sensory experience. But who the hell cared, if it meant he was going to join in?

"Lee," she said firmly. He was motionless, hands still on her back, waiting for her to tell him what to do. She couldn't disappoint, could she? "Kiss me."

He stared at her, and Daphne was afraid the drug might be wearing off, even if she had upped the dose this time. She crept one hand around his bare back, pulling him closer, while her other hand gripped the back of his neck. Their faces were so close that he began breathing in sync with her. She smiled prettily, repeating her order. "Kiss me."

Then she leaned closer, chastely pressing her lips to his. There was nothing savage about this one, she just wanted to see what he would do. And he kissed her. She looked into his glassy and over-bright eyes and shivered with anticipation, the thoughts of what she could do with him now overloading her brain.

"Again," she said, her own voice breaking a little, urging. She kissed him intensely this time, and he responded in kind, allowing her tongue to slip into his mouth again before he actually reciprocated. And it worried her that even that little action nearly undid her; she didn't know how she'd be able to handle what else she had planned.

After a few minutes she came up for air, watching him as he gasped for breath. His hands on her back slid away to rest beside him, and Daphne felt their absence immediately. Part of her was worried that she was letting this get to her too much, but a much larger part of her wanted this too damn badly.

"We're not done yet, Lee." She grabbed his hands, examining them, kissing his fingers where they had been broken and reset the day before. He sucked in a breath at her gentle touches, and by the time he exhaled she had taken hold of them again, this time settling them at her waist and making sure he held her, his grip warm and steady against her sides. She used his hold and her own leg strength to move even closer, straddling him until there was nothing between her and the bare skin of his chest but the thin material of her shirt.

He seemed a little freaked out by the movement, so she took the time to kiss his neck and jaw again- his weak spots- feeling the exact moment he gave in and his body relaxed against hers. Her head came up even with his, and she was proud to note that he was already stretching forward to meet her. She kissed him fiercely, and he matched it.

She slowly started rocking herself back and forth against him, moving her hips gently along his, causing Lee to moan into her mouth. She pulled her lips away then, hands coming up to run through his hair, and then she guided his face to her own neck. "Kiss me," she ordered again.

He raised his head obediently to get to her lips, but she adamantly pushed him back to her neck. She ground into his hips harder, just once, and then he understood and was pressing his mouth to her skin, working his way along her collarbone just as she had done to him earlier. And damn if he wasn't good at it. His grip on her waist tightened, thumbs moving in slow circles on the skin of her stomach. And then Daphne found herself moaning. The pleasure was unbelievable, and she grabbed at his back and shoulders frantically, barely in control of her own body and mind. One of his hands slowly slid up under her shirt, fingers running lightly up her back, his touch cooling against the sudden burning of her spine. Whether it was a request or not, Daphne pretended it was. She leaned back and hurriedly pulled her own shirt up over her head, throwing it to the side.

This time it only took the tiniest of guidance from her, and their skin made contact again. His lips traveled down from hers, down her neck, down her shoulders, continuing down her front. She was still searingly hot, and yet shivering at the sensation of his breath ghosting her body. This had to move forward or she might explode. She had to regain control.

So then she eased herself back a few inches, purposefully baiting him. And of course, he followed, propelling his own body forward. Daphne grabbed his face, kissing him into distraction as she moved back again. And when Lee realized she was farther away, he looked at her, confused. "Come here," she said huskily. He rushed to obey again, right to where she wanted him, far enough away from the headboard. Before he could kiss her she grabbed his upper arms and nearly tackled him so that he was on his back, and she could kneel over him holding him to the bed. He tried to pull out of her grip instinctively, whether to get away or to kiss her she didn't know, but she held on tight. "Don't struggle," was the command, and the drug forced him to lie still, looking up at her with an exhilarating combination of confusion and want.

The sight and feeling of him submissive beneath her was the last straw. With a wordless cry, she threw herself on top of him. Because of her previous order, he allowed her full control over his body, and she explored every inch. He was so seemingly relaxed beneath her that Daphne could convince herself that he was a willing participant in this. He couldn't help but move with her touch, especially as one of the side effects of that wonder drug was heightened sense awareness. From a scientific standpoint, his body was overloaded with tactile sensations and his reactions were completely out of his control. Daphne wasn't really caring about science right now, but she did have this at her advantage, using her hands and mouth to cause Lee to writhe and moan under her. He was obviously gaining some pleasure from this, however unwillingly that might be. She was too, of course. But that was just physical, and she wanted a verbal admission as well.

"You will answer 'yes' to my questions, do you understand?" her voice was rushed and she barely recognized it.

"Yes," he gasped out, blue eyes now moving wildly, pupils dilated.

"Do you want this, Lee?"

"Yes," was the immediate response. She rewarded him with a few kisses on his neck. His chin moved upwards, providing her with more access. She was happy to oblige, biting at a spot just below his jaw and sucking on the skin. He gasped, his hands gripping the sheets under him tightly. She placed both hands over his, calming them, then slowly slid up his bare arms to his shoulders.

"Do you want me?"

"Yes," his voice was strained but just as quick to answer. Her hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, caressing and kneading the muscles there. His head listed to the side and for a second she was afraid she had pushed too far too soon and he had passed out from the sensory overload. But when she stopped massaging him, he whimpered longingly, his hands actually reaching off the bed towards her. God, this was ecstasy.

Tears in her eyes, she captured Lee's outstretched hands with hers, leisurely moving them back to the mattress, on either side of his head. It filled her with a great amount of pleasure, that simple act of pinning his arms. It gave her dominance over him. With his hands out of the way, it once again allowed her total access to his unprotected body. She slowly, methodically, worked over him with her lips while still keeping his hands and arms out of the way. His taste and scent permeated her mind as she pressed down, sliding her tongue up from his naval to the middle of his chest with one stroke. She kissed the skin and muscles right over his rapidly beating heart before drawing herself up to stare at his face once again.

The final question. "Do you love me?" Her eyes were level with his. She already knew how he would answer, of course, but she desperately wanted to watch his face while he said it.

"Yes." There was no hesitation, no doubt, in his voice or face. He had barely gotten the word out when she kissed him brutally. Distracted by his mouth, her hands came down to his body, one hand stroking his chest while the other grabbed his hip, holding on for dear life. Still so compliant and wanting to match her, his arms moved as well. One encircled her waist, holding her steady. The other reached out past her face and ran through her hair, and Daphne had never known feelings like this before. If this is what it meant to be human… right now Daphne wanted to be one.

Since his strong arms were now supporting her, her hands were free to roam his body again. Her mouth stayed firmly attached to his, and their kisses ranged from soft to crushing and everything between. Not wanting to startle him, she took her time moving her hands down to his hips and the waistline of his pants. She had the drawstring loosened and untied before either of them had time to think about it. A particularly aggressive invasion of his mouth with her tongue combined with a quick thrust of her hips, and his body involuntarily arched off the bed enough for her to slip his pants down to his feet quickly and efficiently. This was almost too easy.

He was gasping for air, shaking his head a little at this new development. Trying to calm him, she moved up to his face again, smoothed his hair away from his forehead, and kissed him gently. He kissed her back, so she knew she still had him.

"You want this, don't you?" she asked him kindly.

"Yes," he replied, still under her orders.

They kissed again. "Tell me you want this."

There was a pause while he caught his breath, and she positioned herself so their eyes- even his as unfocused as they were- were at the same level. He looked at her. "I-I want this."

"That's right, pet. You can't help it. You want this." She trailed some kisses down past his chest, down to where her lips could trace the muscular lines of his abdomen, while her hands reached out to pull his boxers away.

Suddenly, something clicked in the haze of Lee's mind. That word. 'Pet.' He'd heard that word somewhere before. Images flashed past his vision. He was lying on a table, bleeding and hurting, and someone's hands were touching him. Threatening him. It was dark and painful. That someone had called him her 'pet.'

"No!" he burst out, shoving Daphne away and sitting up, however weakly. She actually had to catch herself to keep from falling to the floor, and froze at the foot of the bed, trying to figure out what had just happened. Lee was huddled at the headboard, breathing in short quick bursts. His hands were up, clenched into fists defensively.

"Lee?" she reached out to him. Bad idea. He reacted out of instinct, swinging his fist wildly. The punch connected with Daphne's mouth and sent her careening away from him. She landed jarringly on the floor, staring up at him.

"No," his voice, while no less sharp, was also slurred and panicked. "No. You're… I don't…" One hand stayed out while the other reached down and fumbled for his pants, pulling them back on clumsily.

She sighed heavily, wiping the trail of blood from her lip. The moment was over. She could probably still force it if she wanted to, he was still very weak after all, but it just wasn't right if he didn't want it too. Or let her pretend he wanted it too.

"Okay Lee, it's okay," she softened her voice. But he only raised both hands again, tensing further. When she shifted forward, her own hands up placating, he flinched, pressing himself back even further, his knees coming up to his chest. Daphne looked around. Her discarded shirt was lying in a heap next to her. She wanted to put in on, feeling stupid and exposed sitting there without it, but she hesitated. Putting it on would admit defeat, and she didn't know if she could do that. She did finally, and the material felt heavy on her body.

Slowly and silently, Daphne stood up and settled herself in the nearby chair, out of Lee's line of sight but where she could still watch him and ponder what had just happened. Something must have triggered his return to consciousness, but she wasn't sure what. Next time she'd have to be more careful. Of course, first she'd have to get him to trust her again. The drug would help, but she'd have to get things worked out as soon as possible. She wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep tonight without knowing things were right between them.

Daphne waited long enough for him to forget she was still there, then she stood up slowly and moved back over to Lee. He was no longer on guard but instead trying to retie the drawstring of his pants. He didn't acknowledge her presence and for a second Daphne felt guilty, like he was ignoring her on purpose, punishing her. What? She mentally shook herself. She was in charge here, she defined and dictated this relationship. Leoben was right, she was getting too attached.

But he just looked so adorably helpless, and she couldn't get the picture of him responding to her touch out of her head. This wasn't love; it couldn't be. She wouldn't let it be. But she did feel something for Lee Adama, and she couldn't ignore that fact.

She laid her hand on the top of his head, brushing his hair back, ignoring the way he flinched, startled. He looked up at her and she had to smile at the confusion still shading his wonderfully blue eyes. When he didn't try to fight or flee, she allowed herself to hope this was all fixable.

"Do you know me?" she asked, holding her breath.

He studied her for a second, and then dropped his head. Just barely, she heard him whisper the words "…you take care of me."

She tried not to let him see her relief. "Do you know your name?" her fingers still ran comfortingly through his hair. She knew from experience that it helped calm him down. Her thumb rubbed lightly against a poorly-stitched up gash at his hairline.

"Lee Adama," he whispered, falling back into the routine. This was safe for him. Comfortable. Sure enough, his eyes started to slide shut.

"Good, Lee," she said encouragingly. Coloring her voice with worry and concern, she asked, "Are you alright?" Eyes still closed, he shook his head. She sat at the edge of the bed and took a gamble. "Who hurt you?" she asked him. She had to know how much he was aware of, even if that meant him panicking again.

Luckily he stayed where he was. "Don't know," his voice was distressed, miserable.

An uncomfortable mix of relief and pity filled her, and Daphne needed something to distract her from wondering where that came from. She looked down and noticed that his hands still held the ends of the drawstring but were shaking too much to tie it. She very gently put her hand on his. "Do you need help with this?"

After a beat he nodded. Daphne found it ironic that not long ago she had torn that knot apart, and now she felt relieved to be tying it up again. She did it slowly so as not to frighten him. Minutes ago she would have relished the opportunity to have her hands so close to this part of his body, and now she was just relieved he was letting her touch him at all. Whatever had happened in his mind had spooked enough to momentarily break free of the drug, and she couldn't afford for that to happen again.

She looked back up to his face just in time to see a tear leak out of his tightly shut eyes and trail down his face. She caught it at his cheek with her finger, wiping it away. He bit his lip, still not daring to open his eyes. Something stirred inside her, and before she could contemplate the possible consequences of her actions, she was leaning forward and kissing that spot on his cheek.

Lee didn't react at first, but then slowly slumped forward, exhausted. She pulled him to her until his head rested against her and simply held him for a few seconds, waiting for his shaking to pass, just as she had when she had first drugged him.

"It's okay, Lee," she whispered into his hair. "It's okay, I've got you." She wrapped her arms around him, cradling him to her. "I'm here, I'll take care of you." Her hands went to his shoulders so she could sit him up and force him to look her in the eye. When he did she smiled again. "I take care of you, right?"

He was on the verge of sleep, and that made him almost as docile as the drug did. He nodded, believing her. And then Daphne found herself leaning in to kiss him again, this time on the lips. And maybe it was the drug, maybe it was his sleep-addled brain, but he responded nonetheless. They continued to kiss as she helped him to lay down, kisses that were sweet and soft and not at all frightening for him.

He breathed in heavily once he was on his back again, sinking into the sheets and blanket. She stayed where she was next to him and left one hand on his bare chest, moving in soothing circles against his skin. A sound worked its way from the back of his throat, half-groan and half-whimper, causing her to smile. He tried to turn his head to look at her but could only manage to slide his eyes over.

"You…" he trailed off. His voice was hoarse, and he had to lick his lips to bring some moisture to his mouth. God, if that wasn't intoxicating. She had to kiss him if he was going to be doing things like that. She leaned down, her other hand still on his chest, to press their lips together one more time.

Too soon, she broke it off and went back to rubbing his chest. "Sleep now," she said. It was the only solution she saw; maybe he would wake up later and think this was all a bad dream, if he remembered at all. Frak, she didn't want to- she wanted _him- _but maybe this was God's way of saying now was not the time.

Lee looked like he was going to protest, no matter how tired he was, but she shook her head, gently sliding her thumb across his lower lip. "Sleep," she insisted. He continued to blink dazedly at her, so finally she used her fingertips to close his eyes for him. One final lingering kiss to his forehead, and then he was out. The sight and sound of his deep sleep was enough to drain her too, and Daphne had to force herself back up to her feet. She nearly stumbled to the door, locking it behind her once she was in the corridor again. She let out a breath slowly, resting back against the door. Sleep didn't sound like such a bad idea right now.

As she made her way down the hallway, Daphne found that she was smiling. The interrogation may not have ended how she had planned, but she couldn't say it was a bad way to spend the day…

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The crew of _Galactica_ was still working at a frenzied pace. And once again, a secret meeting was going on in an empty corridor.

"What's this about, Kara?" Helo whispered as he leaned his large frame against the wall.

Kara shut the hatch and turned to him. "Why are you whispering?"

He shrugged, embarrassed. "Felt like I should."

Dee shook her head, even as she fought back a smile. "What are we doing here, Starbuck?" It was awkward, asking Dee to be a part of this, but she needed someone from CIC. And, truth be told, she trusted Dee. Well, _Lee_ trusted Dee, and right now that was good enough for her.

Kara took a deep breath, trying to plan out exactly what she needed to stay. "I need your help. There's something going on that doesn't… feel right."

Adelaide's eyes narrowed in confusion. Helo was looking at her with entirely too much understanding on his face. "Kara, you sure you're not-"

She cut him off with a look. She was very good at that look. "I think it has something to do with the Cylons. And if I can find out what, I think it can help us get Hera and Lee back." That got the attention of the other three people in the room. Helo's jaw clenched tightly at the thought of his missing daughter. Kara continued, "Here's what I need you to do…"

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TO BE CONTINUED…


	9. Chapter 9

How to Be Human

By Carolina Blue

A/N: I'm sorry, so sorry, about the delays with my 2 stories. I was away from my computer for the holidays, and then the pneumonia hit. That's right, pneumonia. It wasn't life-threatening or anything, but I didn't do much in January besides sleep. And it was either save up energy to watch TV on Friday nights, or try to write. And after the kickassery of "Sometimes a Great Notion" and "Disquiet" (JUST ADDED: and "The Oath!" Holy crap I loved it!), I think I made the right choice. But I'm back now! And I'm working on both stories! Expect some updates with "The Light of Apollo" soon too.

Takes place in Season 4 but AU so I can make the show fit my story, instead of my story fitting in the show, of course. So some things from season 4 will be in here, others won't! Enjoy!

Thanks for the reviews! Keep 'em coming please!!

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CHAPTER NINE

It was a special kind of irony, he thought, that humans could be so infinitely fascinating- Leoben was sure he could spend an eternity studying them- and yet were so dispensable. Humans were so… fragile. And annoying. And Leoben had to admit, he was finding Lee Adama to be the most annoying human he had ever met.

"What do you want with me now?" the man in question grunted out. They had him strapped down on a gurney with the head raised so he was nearly in a sitting position. He had bumps and bruises forming on top of bumps and bruises, and the bullet wound from that first attack- one that had almost been fully healed before today- was bleeding again. And yet Adama sat there, looking for all the world like he was just mildly irritated with the situation.

Leoben felt like sighing. What did they want with him now? As if he didn't know. Sometime between fending off Daphne's latest attack- and Simon's wonder drug- and Leoben coming to his room, Lee had managed an escape attempt. He still wasn't quite sure how the guy had done it, but it had taken them nearly an hour to find him, almost at the flight deck, and he had put up a respectable fight when they recaptured him. And that worried Leoben greatly. They needed to either up the dose of the thiopentalam, something Simon was warning against, or find a new way to threaten Lee, something Leoben was all for.

"Ah, Lee, you know I'm not the one who wants something with you," was Leoben's answer. He felt some measure of satisfaction when Lee flinched at that. He sauntered over to the gurney, Simon as still and silent as ever behind him. "It's killing you, isn't it?" he continued, coming to a stop next to Lee's side. "You have no idea what might have happened to you earlier." He leaned in closer, dropping to a whisper. "I know, but I'm not telling," his voice holding a slight sing-song quality to it.

"Frak you," Lee spoke between gritted teeth. Without realizing it, he strained against the straps holding him down. Leoben smiled that calm, peaceful smile of his. The Cylon pulled a chair up to sit comfortably next to Lee's head. Lee forced himself to lie still, though he was in no way relaxed. His muscles were bruised and weak and yet nearly vibrating, he was so tense. He finally turned his head to look Leoben in the eye. "You didn't answer my question. Why am I still here?"

Leoben was still smiling, a hard glint to his eyes. Lee shuddered involuntarily; he was getting too familiar with that look. He had spent the last few… days? hours? weeks? Lee had no idea how long he had been on the Cylon ship… on the receiving end of that look. It promised nothing good. The first few sessions with Leoben and Simon had been nothing but unanswerable questions and inescapable pain. At one point- probably around the time they had wrenched his shoulder out of and then back into its socket- Lee had considered feeding them false information, if only to get a brief rest. But the pain had been so great that he couldn't think enough even to make something up. The best he could come up with was maybe naming someone who couldn't possibly be a Cylon- his father? Colonel Tigh? But by the third interrogation, Lee realized that his answers wouldn't have mattered. Leoben seemed to know Lee didn't have a clue, and he also didn't seem to care. And Lee was beyond caring about much of anything anymore.

Leoben was speaking again. "Just because you haven't been able to provide the information we want, doesn't mean you aren't still…" he paused, his eyes running up and down Lee's much-abused body. "…useful." Lee was almost certain his smile was mocking now. He took a second to pull at the restraints again, to no avail. He wasn't going anywhere, and unfortunately neither was Leoben. "You didn't answer my question either, Lee. Aren't you agonizing over what might have happened earlier?"

Earlier. Before Lee had managed to pick the lock to his room and make a run for it. Before he had woken up, light-headed, nauseous, muscles rubbery and numb. Under the covers of that damn bed. Shirtless. Agonizing? Lee was frakking terrified. He ached all over, from more than just the interrogations from Leoben and Simon. He had bruises and… marks… all over his body, that hadn't been there before.

And he had no idea why.

Well, that was inaccurate. He had plenty of ideas, but no facts. And he hated those ideas so much, he wasn't too sure he _wanted_ the facts. Blissful ignorance, right? Lee had practiced blissful ignorance from a young age, trying to pretend nothing was wrong with his parents' marriage, his father's distance, his mother's drinking. He had joined the military, and settled easily into their "need-to-know" manner of information. And this- this was something he didn't need to know. It just really bothered him that he couldn't remember. He wasn't sure if he wanted to remember, he didn't have a choice either way; there was a giant block of time that was ripped away from his memories.

And Leoben was enjoying this way too much. The Cylon leaned forward even further, his face so close to Lee's that Lee had to turn away, glaring at the wall as Leoben placed his elbows on the rail of the gurney and rested his chin on top of clasped hands. "I just don't understand why you tried to escape. Did you really think you'd be able to get off the ship, Lee?" Lee didn't bother answering. Leoben sighed, but kept right on smiling. "You're right, it doesn't matter now. You failed, right?" He shook his head. "I don't understand you. You're a smart man, Lee, I'll give you that. How can you not realize that we _own_ you now?"

Lee didn't react. In some ways, he was getting used to Leoben's needling. However long he had been a captive of the Cylons, Leoben had been continuously picking away at him, chipping away at his strength. Physically, mentally, it was all the same to Leoben. No stone left unturned- his father, his mother. His arms and legs. Zak. Gianne. His ribs, his fingers. The trial, Dee. Kara... Well, Kara had been the only time that Lee thought he might have gotten to Leoben. Because Lee had had a part of Kara that Leoben had only dreamed of having, and Lee hadn't been afraid to rub that in. Sure, Leoben had then broken Lee's foot with his bare hands, but it had kind of been worth it to see Leoben get _bothered _by something. He couldn't walk for the time being, but Lee still felt like he had won that round.

Unfortunately, that was just one round, and Lee felt like he had gone at least a hundred with these two. And however many he had gone with Daphne… Lee sure as frak didn't want to know if he may have won or lost those. He shivered again, and Leoben smiled, maybe realizing what Lee was thinking about. "Let's take you back to your room, okay Lee?" Lee didn't know why Leoben insisted on saying his name so often, but it was starting to grate on his nerves.

Leoben finally sat back, glancing over his shoulder to Simon. The dark-skinned Cylon stepped forward and helped push Lee's gurney to the door. And Lee felt that repressed shiver of fear returning, as well as a certain amount of surprise. He had been expecting some punishment for trying to escape, but there had been none. _Yet_.

Leoben and Simon wheeled him down the hallway. Lee closed his eyes when the movement made him nauseous again. He kept his body still, his breaths steady- as steady as they could be with cracked ribs- and was a beat late in realizing that they had already stopped moving. Lee knew they couldn't have gotten to his room already, and he cautiously opened his eyes. Leoben was next to him, still frakking smiling, but he wasn't looking at Lee. He was looking off to the side, and Lee couldn't help but follow his gaze to the door they had stopped next to. The door was mostly glass, allowing Lee to see inside. It was tinted in a shade that told Lee it was a two-way mirror- anyone could see in, no one could see out. It made him wonder if the door to his own room was made this way. Before he could dwell on that he noticed movement inside the room. He tensed involuntarily when he saw a Six walk past the doorway, but he then realized it wasn't Daphne. Some other Six- darker hair, little to no makeup, a calmer, more natural air about her. And carrying a child.

Hera.

He breathed out her name, forgetting he was tied down to the gurney. Both Simon and Leoben watched with amusement as he attempted to stand up and go to her, pulling futilely against the restraints. "Hera!" he called again, not caring. But he noticed for the first time that his voice was so quiet, strained, as though he had worn it out screaming for the past few days. Which, probably, he had. He watched in muted frustration as the darker-haired Six rocked the little girl to sleep. Hera was here? Had she been taken when he had? Later? Was she okay? Had the Cylons… done anything to her? Then Leoben moved into his limited line of sight, and he could no longer see Hera.

"Sorry, that's all you get," Leoben smiled. Without so much as a nod to Simon, both Cylons began wheeling his gurney down the hallway again. Lee tried to twist, stretch his neck sideways, anything to get one more glimpse of Hera.

"What…?" he turned back to Leoben, eyes flashing angrily, helplessly.

He was beginning to think Leoben had no other expression besides smug. The Cylon in question just shook his head. "Yes, Lee, she's been here as long as you have. And she will continue to be here. So, next time you think you might want to make a run for it? Think about her too."

The next few minutes were a hazy, angry blur as Lee tried to wrap his tired mind around this new development. And Lee found himself being dropped back into his bed (_the_ bed- not his bed), struggling more out of instinct than any hope of escape. Simon was no longer in the room, but Leoben didn't need any assistance in subduing the human. In fact, the punch across Lee's face and the handcuffs around his wrists were probably overkill. But you couldn't blame Leoben for liking a little overkill. With Daphne getting obsessive over a human (and yes, he could appreciate the irony of that) and the Ones and Fives muttering to themselves and the Sixes going on and on about the Final Five, Leoben quite liked that his only responsibility was to make a man hurt.

Lee looked down at the handcuffs, resigned, before glaring back up at Leoben. "Did you do anything to… is she okay?" his voice sounded extra-pained, hating that he had to ask something of Leoben.

"Hera is fine," Leoben wasn't sure why he answered Lee, but he did. "She's a little confused, but she's being taken care of."

Lee wasn't sure if that was meant to reassure him or not. Either way, it didn't. "Let me see her, talk to her."

The Cylon's eyebrows shot up, though he kept his detached smile firmly in place. "Making demands now, Lee? I'd think it goes without saying that you're in no position to do that."

"You'd think so," Lee grunted, forcing his body up into a sitting position and leaning heavily back against the headboard. He was quiet for a moment, settling himself after such straining movement. Then he turned to Leoben. "Why don't you just kill me?" He didn't sound pitiful in any way, just curious. "You have Hera, you don't need another hostage."

Leoben found his smile was much more genuine now. "Maybe I'm having more fun this way."

It was Lee's turn to raise his eyebrows. "No, you're not." Leoben looked at him quizzically, and Lee continued. "You just think you're supposed to. I think everyone's confused. Lost. We think we have a direction to some mystical planet, you think we have a hold over some mystical group of super-secret Cylons… but we're all just-" he coughed deeply, cuffed hands going to his ribs at the motion. "-We're all just careening through space." He locked eyes with Leoben, the strength held there a complete contrast to his physical appearance. "When the humans and Cylons finally collide, there'll be no hope left for either of us."

"That's very fatalist of you, Lee." Leoben was surprisingly chilled by these words.

"It's the truth- this is a fight to the death, isn't it? But when the smoke clears from that," he waved his hands, "that final battle… the cost of all this, all that we've done and all that you've done…" he shook his head, eyes closing. "It's going to kill even the victor." And then Lee Adama was out, sleeping or unconscious or some mix of the two. Leaving Leoben with a whole new set of thoughts to keep him up at night.

A noise behind him brought his attention to the door. Daphne was standing there, leaning against the frame, her own eyes fixed on the human. Judging by the rapt and thoughtful look on her face, Leoben guessed she'd been standing there for awhile. "You here to baby-sit?" he asked her.

"No," she replied distractedly. She shook herself away then, and focused on Leoben. "No. I came to find you. Natalie… I think Natalie just started a civil war."

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The slamming of the hatch brought Tyrol and Anders out of their thoughts and back to the storage room they were standing in. Tigh and Tory were in the middle of an argument, and the looks on their faces kept Tyrol from pointing out their lateness. Something had happened.

"I can't believe you- you, the one who said we should keep our frakking mouths shut- now you want to do this?!" Tory went so far as to point her finger at the Colonel, shoving his chest with emphasis.

"Well I was wrong then, or I'm wrong now- I don't really care which. Either way, this ends today." They had obviously been arguing for awhile.

"You're going to get us killed!" Tyrol didn't think he had ever heard Tory raise her voice like this. It suddenly gave him a glimpse into her that had previously been unseen; there was power and anger in her that was almost... frightening. For the first time, Tyrol really wondered what they, as these new Cylons, were capable of.

"Excuse me?" Anders actually waved his hand at them. "What the hell's going on?"

Saul and Tory stopped glaring at each other for the moment, turning to the others. "The Cylons made contact with _Galactica_," Tory announced, decidedly calmer.

A chill washed over Tyrol. He leaned forward, making brief eye contact with Sam, and folded his arms, readying himself. "Okay," he said simply. "And?"

"They want a trade," Saul spit out. "The Final Five for Apollo and the little girl." He grunted, pulling his flask out of its strap on his lower leg, taking a long drink and sitting himself down across from Tyrol and Anders. "They think the Old Man is keeping the Five imprisoned on the ship." A dark smirk hit his face for a brief moment, before he shook his head at the absurdity of it all. "The Admiral releases the Five safely, and they'll release their hostages."

"Apollo and Hera? They're okay?" Tyrol asked warily. Gods only knew what was happening to them on a ship full of Cylons. _Enemy_ Cylons, he corrected himself. He had to believe that it was possible to be good, and stay good.

"They're alive," was all Tigh could reply with, a humorless laugh following it. "They won't be if we don't do something about it."

Sam and Tyrol both started at that, Tory already shaking her head. "And this is what I've been arguing against for the last twenty minutes," she told them. "We give ourselves up to them now and we lose our only advantage. It's not safe with them."

"I don't think the Cylons would kill us, Tory," Anders said quietly.

She stared at him. "I'm not talking about the Cylons. I'm talking about the humans. Adama and Roslin-"

And they were all staring at her now. None of them had ever referred to the rest of the fleet as 'humans' before. Tory seemed far more comfortable than the others with that idea. "I trust Adama and Roslin a hell of a lot more than I trust whatever's out there," Tigh cut her off.

"I'm sorry, weren't you the one saying we couldn't do anything when this whole mess started?" Tory pointed out. "How you felt bad about the Old Man's son and all, but we couldn't risk it?"

"We can risk it now," Tigh's voice was somewhere between a drawl and a shout. "We have to. They're putting lives on the line because of us, and they're not going to stop. It's our job to fix this. Do what's right. A lot of people could get killed here."

"A lot of people could get killed anyway," Sam said, still quiet and hesitant. Tyrol chose to stay quiet for the moment.

"At least this way we can try to control what happens. Make it easier for some of us to sleep at night," Tigh grumbled.

"I'm sleeping just fine, thanks," Tory snapped.

"Well that's surprising, what with your legs wrapped around Baltar and all-" Tory very nearly threw herself at Saul as he spoke. Sam caught her before she could hit the Colonel, but the argument was quickly dissolving into shouts and swipes at each other.

"Alright, enough! Knock it off!" Tyrol finally raised his voice, getting between the struggle. He looked at each of their faces in turn, waiting for them to calm down. Once they were quiet again, Tyrol reached a hand out to Tigh. After a slight hesitation, the Colonel handed over his flask. Tyrol took a long pull from it, then sighed heavily. Giving the flask back, he took the seat Tigh had been in. He nodded up to the Colonel. "Okay. What do you want to do?"

Tory threw off Sam's restraining hands and stalked to the far end of the room. "Are you kidding? You want to surrender too?"

Tyrol focused on the floor and his feet placed firmly on it. He could feel the hum, the vibration, of the ship beneath his shoes. It grounded him in a way, as much as a battlestar hurtling through space could ground someone. He thought then of Helo, what he must be going through with a missing child. If that had happened to Nicky…"I'm not surrendering. I'm taking control."

"Of what?" Sam's voice was quiet again, tentative.

"Of me. I don't know what I am anymore," he kept himself calm, centered. "I don't know if Galen Tyrol is a Cylon or a person, or how we should refer to ourselves. I don't know if I have a soul, or if I'm just a machine."

"What's your point, Chief?" Saul actually agreed with him, but he was getting impatient with all the speechifying. Now that Saul had made up his mind, he just wanted to get it done.

Tyrol was still looking at his shoes. "My point is, I can't change that I'm a Cylon. But whatever I'm supposed to be, I know what I feel now. I'm not evil. I'm not someone who is going to sit by and let innocent people- someone's child- die because of me."

"Unbelievable!" Tory threw her hands into the air. She turned to Anders. "You won't be fixing anything if _you_ die, Galen! You're giving up without thinking of the consequences! Tell me you agree with me, Sam."

Tyrol finally looked up, into Sam's face. Sam was still looking at him, expression unsure, just this side of panicking. Tyrol shook his head. "Hey. Forget who's a Cylon and who's a human. Forget gods or God or whatever. Forget what anyone tells you you're supposed to do. You decide for _yourself_." Quieter, he added: "That's what makes us more than just machines."

Sam glanced back and forth between the maddeningly calm Tigh and Tyrol and the just plain mad Tory. He shook his head. "I don't… I don't know…" All of this was happening way too fast for him.

Saul took another drink from the flask and then tossed it to him. "Whatever you decide, I'm going to the Admiral in half an hour. I'm only giving him my name, but the more of us that show up the better chance we have of fixing this. It's up to you. Now let's get the frak out of here before someone notices we're missing."

Sam finished what was left in the flask before looking desperately at the other two men. "It's not that I don't want to- I just need to figure out if I can…" His eyes begged them to understand his hesitance.

Tyrol stared back at him, expressionless, while Tigh just nodded his head to the hatch. "Check and see if it's clear."

Anders sighed heavily, but complied. He cautiously pushed the hatch open, sticking his head out to look down the left end of the hall way. "So far, so…" and then he turned his head to the right and trailed off. Standing there, leaning back tensely against the bulkhead of the hallway, was Helo. He was glaring expectantly at Sam, arms crossed in front of him. Next to him stood Adelaide and Dee, eyes wide and shocked.

But it was Kara who held Sam's attention. Even as he felt the other three Cylons come up behind him, Sam couldn't take his eyes off his wife. Kara stood there, looking oh-so-casual, and yet he could feel the anger radiating off of her in waves. It felt like it was burning his skin off. "Kara," he choked out. He didn't see Tigh looking at the group waiting for them, nodding almost approvingly. He didn't see Tory take a step to the side as though to make a run for it, before Adelaide, Dee, and Tigh all moved to block her path. He didn't see Helo turn his accusing gaze to Tyrol, who returned the stare with a resigned, pained- apologetic?- expression. Sam couldn't see anything but Kara.

She took one deceptively lazy step towards him, and Sam was afraid. "So far, so good?" She finished the phrase for him. Everyone else was silent, sizing each other up, wondering what the frak was about to happen to them here and everyone from now on. And still, Kara stared down her Cylon husband. "Sammy," she drawled, the skin around her eyes and mouth drawn tight. "I think it's time to talk about our relationship."

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Daphne watched the pitiful struggle of the man before her. Lee didn't have the strength anymore to do much besides sit up in his bed and glare, or at least that was what he chose to do now as Daphne entered his room. She gave him a once-over, noticing the newest batch of bruises on his face and shoulders, the fresh bandage and splint on his foot. "You know you probably injured that worse when you tried to escape," she commented. Lee didn't reply. His cuffed hands unconsciously began moving towards his neck, shielding it from any needle she might have. But Daphne simply slid into the chair next to his bed, regarding him contemplatively.

Lee narrowed his eyes, studying her in turn. She was more tense than usual, but not in a threatening way. And the fact that she hadn't made any type of leering comment towards him was strange, to say the least. Well, strang_er_. He settled down against the pillows behind him as the muscles in his back began aching again. "Something's happened, hasn't it?"

Daphne noticed his voice was still very hoarse, and couldn't help but wonder what her name would sound like coming from his lips. She suppressed the thoughts and shiver they caused, focusing on his question. "There has been a… rift, among the Cylons," she surprised herself by answering truthfully. "The Twos, Sixes, and Eights have split from the Ones, Fours, and Fives."

Lee tried to sort the numbers out in his head, which only caused it to ache even more. "Split?"

"The other Cylons did not want to seek out the Final Five. Nor did they want to grant free will to the Raiders and Centurions. One of my sisters took matters into her own hands, and…" she hesitated, still shocked by the events herself. "Several Ones, Fours, and Fives were killed. Our basestar was forced to jump away before they could retaliate, but now they will certainly come after us. I don't…" she trailed off at Lee's dark chuckle. "This is funny to you?" she snapped.

Lee stopped laughing, though his glare never let up. "The fact that the Cylons are in a civil war? Yeah, that's kind of funny. You think maybe you could do humanity a favor, kill each other off and leave us alone?"

She reared back and punched him, putting her newfound anger and frustration behind it, but Lee just took it without complaint, regaining his senses and continuing to smile bitterly. And then she realized- physical violence meant nothing to Lee anymore. He had spent days with the meticulous brutality of Leoben and Simon. This after spending years fighting a continuous war. He wasn't scared of that. She had to use what he was scared of.

Slowly and deliberately, she slid the syringe out of her pocket and placed it on her lap. She didn't even have to look at Lee to know that his entire body had tensed up. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the flex and play of muscles in his arms as he tried to gather enough strength to fight her. "Don't bother," she finally looked up at him. He looked back, startled. "You're too weak. Doesn't matter what you do. If I want to inject you with this, I will." Fear- panic- flashed in his eyes for just a second before he swallowed it back down. It was beautiful.

Daphne picked up the syringe again. Lee's eyes tracked her desperately as she stood, walked slowly forward, and perched herself on the side of the bed. He struggled to sit up, fight back, run away, _anything_, but his body wouldn't cooperate. When Daphne reached across to pin one of his shoulders against the headboard, he couldn't fight her off. When she grabbed the cuffs around his hands and pulled them down away from his neck, he could only wince as muscles and joints protested the movement. She leaned in even closer, and Lee was so busy trying to fight off the panic and shaking his body wanted to cave to, he didn't even realize she was injecting the syringe into his neck until it was too late.

The light in the room became hazy, like he was looking through a fogged-up glass, and colors were suddenly muted. His whole body felt like it was underwater, and every movement he made was a struggle. Even taking deep breaths seemed like a lot of work. Lee felt like screaming, and he wondered if this is what he felt like every time he was drugged. How often had he gone through this routine? What was going to happen next? Would he remember anything when the drug wore off?

Daphne ducked down so her eyes were level with his. "See this, Lee?" she waved the needle in front of his face. It was still half full. "This isn't our usual toy. Simon seems to think since you broke free from the thiopentalam last time-" _I did?!_ Lee wondered. "-then it might not be effective on you anymore. But this, this is something new." As she spoke, she eased the rest of her body onto the bed until she was kneeling in front of him, almost but not touching his legs where he had drawn them up close to his body. Lee wanted to move away from her, really he did.

"Diprivan," she continued. "A sedative-hypnotic agent. It'll put you out but not out entirely. And," she smiled, "it also clouds your memory. You already know what that feels like." She inched her way closer. "And the best part? This little wonder-drug isn't even Cylon. It's made by humans." This last bit was whispered, right into his ear. Somehow she had managed to get in his face again, crowding him back.

"Get the hell away from me," he gritted out. At least he could still talk, though part of him wondered if she had wanted it that way.

Daphne ignored him. "Lee. Why do you hate Cylons?"

He was shocked by the question. "You murdered planets full of people."

She reached a hand up to cradle his jaw, thumb rubbing against his slightly-stubbled cheek. "I think if you look back at the history of mankind, you'll see that over time people have murdered planets full of people too."

He managed to shake his head out of her grasp. "That doesn't make what you did okay."

"And yet you'll fight to protect people. Why?" She was actually curious, gods damn her.

Lee wanted to scream; he was not in the mood for a philosophical discussion right now. But try as he might, he couldn't help but answer her. "It's my job."

"Because you're a human, so you have to blindly side with humans?"

"It's not blind," he countered angrily. "I choose to fight for the people that need help, to ensure that humanity continues existing."

She kissed him then, without warning. He tried to pull away, but she held his head firmly in place. His arms were lead, his body anchored down. He couldn't get away. She pulled back to look at him again, and Lee wished desperately that he could use an arm to wipe at his mouth. He felt sick. Daphne just smiled. "Why? Why do humans continue to sin and fail, and still think they deserve to live?"

And now he was sick of having to think about that particular argument. He had heard it or thought it himself too often in the past few years. But he wouldn't admit that to her. "There are innocent people in that fleet, too. You telling me there are some innocent Cylons running around this ship?"

Her hand was running up and down his chest, and it scared Lee that he couldn't feel it. But Daphne was thinking about his question. "What is innocent?" she asked seriously. "I choose to lead a life pure in love of God and my family. Does that make me guilty of something?"

Lee rolled his eyes. Actually rolled his eyes at her. "Yes," he answered determinedly. "What you and your 'family' have done to my family, to me and Hera…?" He looked at her with disgust in his eyes. "That's not loving or 'pure' for anything." He spit the word at her, wishing he could shake his head. "There's nothing sacred about you or your actions."

She hit him again, following it up almost immediately with another kiss, attacking his mouth as though it were another punch. When she finally came up for air, Lee was gasping, eyes shut tight in misery. He thumped his head back against the board, muttering a quiet, desperate "Frak!" He leveled a glare at her. "Get the hell away from me," he said again.

But Daphne was angry now, past the point of leaving, past the point of rational discussion. Now, what would be the best punishment? "I'm not going anyway," she told him calmly. She brandished the syringe again, like a weapon. "You can't fight me off, Lee, you know this. I can do whatever I want with you, and I won't stop until I want to stop." The near-panic was flashing across his face again. She smiled triumphantly. "So I'll give you a choice. If I give you the rest of the diprivan, you'll have no memory of whatever might happen the next few hours. Maybe nothing will happen, maybe something will. But you'll never have to know." She could see he was trying to struggle, trying to get his body to move out from under her. "But you hate that loss of control, don't you? So I could just throw this away and go ahead without it. You still can't fight back, can you? This way, at least you would know whether I do something or not…" she leaned in, painting a quick line across his neck with her tongue. She could feel him shaking under her. "But then you'd have to live with those memories. Maybe it would be better not to know? Or would that just kill you, eat at you forever?"

Lee was still gasping for breath, but no longer because of her kiss. He looked wildly back and forth from her to the syringe, groaning softly as he tried to move his body. Daphne just waited next to him, holding the needle up closer to him. "So what's your choice, Lee?"

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TO BE CONTINUED…


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